Hiding fandom in the underwear drawer since 1977

This evening we had a home intruder.  He fell into our front porch bushes, brought half of it into the house, and collapsed in a drunken stupor on the living room couch.  I call 911.   "We have a home intruder."  We go outside.  We wait.  I call 911 again thinking maybe I was not clear enough about the fact that we have a home intruder. I Tweet that we have a home intruder.  My spouse decides now is a good time to go inside and load the dishwasher.  I find out why it takes the police 20 minutes to respond.  They arrive on bicycles. They hustle drunk home intruder out of the house.    The dog doesn't wake up as home intruder bumbles into our home.  She goes crazy over the police officers.  It's probably the bike helments.  They are very scary.

And then the dog barfed.