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rthstewart ([personal profile] rthstewart) wrote2012-08-31 09:56 pm
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He said he wanted to go to Montana Also dog FAIL

This evening we had a home intruder.  He fell into our front porch bushes, brought half of it into the house, and collapsed in a drunken stupor on the living room couch.  I call 911.   "We have a home intruder."  We go outside.  We wait.  I call 911 again thinking maybe I was not clear enough about the fact that we have a home intruder. I Tweet that we have a home intruder.  My spouse decides now is a good time to go inside and load the dishwasher.  I find out why it takes the police 20 minutes to respond.  They arrive on bicycles. They hustle drunk home intruder out of the house.    The dog doesn't wake up as home intruder bumbles into our home.  She goes crazy over the police officers.  It's probably the bike helments.  They are very scary.

And then the dog barfed.
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[identity profile] metonomia.livejournal.com 2012-09-01 01:58 am (UTC)(link)
Hwat. This is a little bit funny mostly just because y'all are alright and also bicycle police officers and dog, but also that is kind of scary!

[identity profile] fenchurche.livejournal.com 2012-09-01 02:52 am (UTC)(link)
I've been trying to figure out what in the world they did with him after they got him out of your house... did they make him ride on the handlebars? I mean, seriously, they sent police on *bikes* to take care of a home intruder?!?!
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[identity profile] rthstewart.livejournal.com 2012-09-01 01:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Once our local finest escorted "John" to our front steps, they phoned for back up and a cruiser came. They were trying to figure out where to take the man and he was way too drunk to tell them much of anything and did not have a local license. I would have tried to follow up on things, but then the dog barfed. By the time I was removing said barf, the whole crew was gone.
autumnia: Central Park (park)

[personal profile] autumnia 2012-09-01 03:23 am (UTC)(link)
You know, you and your spouse seem awfully calm about this.... I'd probably have screamed bloody murder and alerted all my neighbors. But I am very glad to hear everyone's safe and unharmed!
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[identity profile] wingedflight21.livejournal.com 2012-09-01 03:43 am (UTC)(link)
What? How do they even take the home intruder away if they're on bikes? Thank goodness you are all safe!

[identity profile] min023.livejournal.com 2012-09-01 07:24 am (UTC)(link)
Oh good grief! I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Glad you're OK

[identity profile] heverus.livejournal.com 2012-09-01 11:42 am (UTC)(link)
Wowwwww...glad everything is all right. 20 min and on bikes? Unbelievable. Sounds like you needed a nice, loud shotgun-- not to fire, but just to rack-- because that there is the international language for "Get the F out of my home."
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[identity profile] katharhino.livejournal.com 2012-09-01 12:39 pm (UTC)(link)
What. I mean, yes, it is hilarious the way you tell the story, but would so not be hilarious if it were happening to me. They sent police on BIKES? O_O WHAT.

[identity profile] econopodder.livejournal.com 2012-09-01 12:59 pm (UTC)(link)
What DID they do with him on bikes??
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[identity profile] rthstewart.livejournal.com 2012-09-01 01:37 pm (UTC)(link)
A police cruiser did arrive but I didn't focus on it as I was cleaning up dog barf. A neighbor found a backpack in the street with clothes and beer cans. So it must be his and I've left it to the neigbhor to figure out what to do with it.
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[identity profile] adaese.livejournal.com 2012-09-01 01:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Such a scary subject matter should not result in Wellinghall and me both laughing out loud. American police *never* come roaring up on bicycles on the television - that is a mode of transport entirely limited to British-mid-C20th-nostalgia-fest shows. And the dog ignoring the intruder but then defending you against the scary police - priceless!

[identity profile] pencildragon11.livejournal.com 2012-09-01 03:21 pm (UTC)(link)
"My spouse decides now is a good time to go inside and load the dishwasher."

This is just . . . not funny, but the way you tell it it's hilarious. And the dog! What a bizarre evening.
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[identity profile] harmony-lover.livejournal.com 2012-09-01 03:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh my gosh, what an evening! So glad that you all are okay.

[identity profile] andi-horton.livejournal.com 2012-09-02 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
Glad you are all okay, and yes, though I am sure not funny to experience at all, you do have a flair for the recounting of it. And dogs . . . they really do know when not to be sick, don't they?! Such spectacularly imperfect timing.

[identity profile] yav-14.livejournal.com 2012-09-02 01:12 pm (UTC)(link)
That's nuts. Glad you guys are OK. The only good thing is you get to save and use it in your writing, because the previous comments right-wonderful retelling!

[identity profile] amine-eyes.livejournal.com 2012-09-03 09:17 am (UTC)(link)
Oh jesus christ :') Glad it got sorted, and hope this doesn't happen again!!

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