rthstewart | So, that's what Susan and Edmund we're doing in Moscow

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So, that's what Susan and Edmund we're doing in Moscow

Susan! Edmund! Cranky!Drunk!Edmund! Cold War Spies! go and read

snacky here now!

If you've been following, you know courtesy of me,

linneasr,

snacky,

autumnia and

snacky that

I ship Peter and a camel,
That Asim and Eustace discussed the secret while in Morocco with Mary and the camels who lust after Peter
That there were plans to go to Florida to look for alligators and New Mexico for cannibal dinosaurs
That Eustace, Mary, Peter, and Asim do go to Florida and lose and and find a camera and abuse the word magnificent here and here and here
And that Peter gets drunk on moonshine, Mary offers a cure and reveals that she knows about Dwarf Lightning and centaurs, and then tequila and peyote are consumed
I have it on good authority that

lady_songsmith is in the midst of attempting to satisfy Peter/Mary shippers (as opposed to the Peter/Dalia shippers) as reported in this tweet: Right, ok, I have a full glass of Riesling and another bottle in the fridge. I also have a headache, but hey, let's get Peter laid.

A burning question of

snacky 's Florida contribution to the hydra comment fic of TSG AU 1952 where no one dies except some mosquitos, is what were Susan and Edmund doing in Moscow on the rat and crow business? Well,

anastigmatfic

EDIT

See below for the return of Tebbitt
Go see what metonomia did involving Lucy
And now we know that Jill is a revolutionary and a doctor

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as opposed to the Peter/Dalia shippers

*raises hand* Party of one!

The only OTP I've ever written. Peter + Dalia 4EVAH

I have been watching this on Twitter and my god do I need to catch up with it all, and soon. This looks better than everything probably ever.

Well that does depend on one's definition of "better" I had thought the operating principle, as of sometime today was, "the TSG AU 1952 fic where everyone lives and everyone has sex, except Edmund." But, Snacky has said Edmund is going to get laid in Greece. In which case, Morgan is catching a train out of Aslan's country to plot revenge. This also means that Meto had an idea involving Asim and sex and Charlie and the Chocolate factory.

Yes, I do believe that all fits my definition of "better". I wish I had time to grab it all and PDF it for my reader, since D*C is going to be keeping me form the computer this weekend!

Well, I keep trying to edit the entry to include

metonomia's contribution, but it keeps screwing up my formatting, so go here and learn what Lucy has been up to back in England.
I expect pictures, Eustace! Photographic evidence, or it did not happen," Lucy says firmly into the scratchy transcontinental line.

I think the funniest thing of all is that if you're viewing LJ pages with the basic LJ theme, the current banner at the top of the page features camels trekking through the desert.

So Edmund and Susan make it out of Russia and into the Ukraine, and eventually arrive in Odessa where they are met by Tebbitt, who has a cargo ship waiting to take them to Istanbul, and then on to Greece, and eventually home.

Sex ensues for Susan/Tebbitt and Edmund is left with an empty bottle of vodka, a toothless Ukranian sea captain named Vasily, and a tin of caviar.

Edmund picked morosely at the caviar and looked up at Vasily hopefully. "Any more vodka, by any chance?"

He tried to speak loudly to avoid hearing the rhythmic thumps coming from the forecabin. The lovemaking didn't affect Vasily one bit as the man was deaf.

But Edmund was nowhere near drunk enough to drown out that -- oh Aslan, no -- high pictched squeal that surely couldn't be Susan's.

It was obviously a sea gull. Or, a porpoise perhaps.

Edmund took a bite of caviar and wondered idly if there was any spare tubing on the boat with which he could devise a still and make vodka.

Because caviar wasn't helping. At all.

"Good morning!"

He winced and cracked open an eye. "Sister." She was far too cheerful at such an early hour in the day.

"You look horrible this morning, Edmund."

He ignored her comment and slowly lifted his head from the table. His arm had made an uncomfortable pillow and he shook it from elbow to wrist, waiting for the numbness to dissipate.

"Did you not sleep at all? The currents could not have been that bad. Vasily said we had made a smooth sailing overnight." She let out a yawn and quickly covered her mouth with her slim fingers. "That's odd. I don't feel sleepy, but it seems my body is telling me otherwise."

He looked up and after a quick glance at her, reached for the glass on the table. He tipped it over and frowned. Not even a single drop left.

"Brother, do say something. Your silence concerns me."

With a sigh, he licked his lips and his eyes brightened a little bit. There was a lingering taste of alcohol still there. Turning his attention to her, he finally said, "I'm surprised you slept at all, Susan. One could hardly do anything but stay awake given how much noise came from your cabin."

She blushed. "Well, I--that is--"

"I will assume you were well attended by our Lord Peridan," he commented dryly. He wondered if it was too late to follow up on that threat made years ago, when he and Peter read through her letters and discussed holding the man down and running a sword through him.

Edmund was approaching sobriety faster than they were approaching Greece. It was a pitiful state of affairs. He slumped in a pile of lines and nets in the stern of the boat. Here, with the stench of petrol and the roar of the engines, he was at least out of the way of the very persistent and noisy reunion in the bow cabin.

One of the parties responsible for his misery sauntered up, scrubbed, shaved, and obviously well sated.

"Feeling a little low, Edmund?" Tebbitt asked.

"Go away, or I will kill you," Edmund replied. There were spears and hooks on the boat for handling the big fish. He would happily impale Tebbitt. No jury would convict him.

Instead, Tebbitt pulled up a coil of rope and sat. "Did you ever hear the story of what your sister did to keep me sober in the summer of '42?"

Edmund opened an eye.

"She bribed the bartenders and wait staff at embassies and restaurants. They watered my drinks, cut me off at one glass, and eventually just stopped serving me altogether. I couldn't get a drink if I'd been dying of thirst. Which, I was."

Edmund felt a stirring of solidarity and camaraderie. "I had a bottle of perfectly fine vodka. She poured it down the drain right before we left." Such a sad, sad loss. Why was all the vodka gone?

"Since that time, I have taken a page from Susan's book and learned to plan for every contingency."

Edmund opened the other eye.

From his pea coat, Tebbitt removed a large flask. "Assuming you don't mind a change from home distilled vodka to aged Kentucky bourbon?"

I don't have anything to add. I'm just going to be over here weeping at the fact that this is a crack commentfic au.

TEBBITTTTTT.

Edmund sat up and looked at the silver rectangular container in Tebbitt's hand. He thought he could hear the liquid inside sloshing around as the other man waved the flask in front of him.

Perhaps he will not run Peridan through after all. And he will not have to give Susan a reason to toss him overboard.

Tebbitt twisted the cap off and handed the metal container to him. Edmund brought it to nose and sniffed. It certainly smelled of liquor. He raised the flask in mock salute and took a swig. He swished the liquid in his mouth, savoring the burning sensation before he swallowed.

"Good stuff," he said, warmed by the alcohol flowing through his body. He lowered the flask and examined the dents and scuff marks that marred the silver. "Dare I ask?" he said, rubbing his fingers into the shallow depressions in the metal.

"Better not to," answered the other man. "I may have to kill you if you knew."

Edmund briefly entertained the idea of a duel with the man. He wondered which of them would win. Tebbitt knew how to use a gun and fly a plane, but Edmund had learned how to fight with blades and his hands. He shook his head and dismissed the thought (for now). With a shrug, he reluctantly returned the flask to its owner. "It makes the vodka taste like water."

Tebbitt snorted. "From what I've heard, you were drinking it like water." He took a deep draught from it and wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

"It was stronger than I expected it to be."

"Finest compliment you can pay to any Gentleman's good taste," Tebbitt recited. At Edmund's querying glance, he elaborated. "It's an Old Forester from the early '40s. I've hoarded a few bottles while working at the Embassy in Washington."

"Ah." He wasn't of drinking age back then. At least, not in this world. "And you're sure my sister knows nothing of your contraband?"

"As I said, contingency plans. Otherwise, I'm sure she would have tipped it into the Black Sea by now."

"I highly doubt that."

"Oh?"

"Susan is to aged bourbon as Peter is to tequila."

(Tebbitt is quoting directly from a 1941 advertisement for Old Forester, which you can see here.)

Another spew warning. Oh what have we wrought? Brilliant. "Susan is to aged bourbon as Peter is to tequila." Amazing

I remembered the Peter and Susan conversation scene in AW, so of course it made sense to reference it here. :-)

And you know, research is fun. And slightly challenging as I'm not really into alcohol either.

LOVE that line - and now I'm even more anxious to get caught up on AW. :)

Tebbit was shocked (and yet not) to discover Susan sipping on a glass of fine aged bourbon- *his* fine aged bourbon- when he drops by her cabin after leaving Edmund.

"You sleep too soundly", she said, "and I was suspicious the moment I realized there seemed to be no alcohol on the entire boat."

1. I am having trouble choosing between "No jury would convict him" and Edmund opening his other eye as my favorite part.

2. TEBBITT IS WEARING A PEACOAT

2b. THERE IS A FLASK INSIDE IT

Yes yes and HELL YES :D

This still won't let me edit without arbitrarily completely altering the content. So, I'll just say WOW and laughing my head off and I really need to stop reading Tweets when on conference calls. Oh Edmund. Snacky and Autumnia, you too are the greatest. And, should any of you be wondering, if Edmund gets laid in Greece, Morgan is catching the next train out of Aslan's Country to exact revenge.

And really where the heck is

l_a_r_m? Tebbitt is here. Susan is here. They are in a boat!

THEY ARE IN A BOAT THEY ARE IN A GETAWAY BOAT LOVE BOAT

BOAT BOAT BOAT

EDMUND IS ON BOARD

rotfl "catching the next train out of Aslan's Country"

Wow! Never leave Not-My-Children's Narnia, even for a day! THESE ARE ALL AWESOME!!!

PS rth, your delicious quotation at the top about getting Peter laid does not, I am ever so sad to relay, come from me. I think it was Metonomia?

I know about the weird attributions'. For some reason, LJ won't let me edit this entry. Everytime I go in to fix it, it changes the User names and deletes content! So I just gave up! Are you excited for your trip?

Oh Yes! Today is all about finishing the packing, and I just thought I'd check in and things are exploding here! Tomorrow we fly out. My boat will, apparently, be ready next week (I'm not holding my breath). So you may not hear too much from me for about a tenday, if not more. Argh, it's such a terrible time to not be really available for this. You're all having too much fun and I want to play!

But I will send a photo of the cat door, soon. :-)

User

lady_songsmith referenced to your post from Not My Fault (http://lady-songsmith.livejournal.com/86403.html) saying: [...] ing, cracky commentfic AU. Rth has made an attempt at collecting it in a master post here [...]

This commentfic is just the greatest...seeing Edmund and Tebbitt together! In a boat! Trying to be civil and bonding over bourbon! I love it. :) Especially the random thoughts that Edmund has about running Tebbitt through, which are really his perogative and obligation as a brother.

I cannot stop laughing. Wonderful writing, all of you.

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So, that's what Susan and Edmund we're doing in Moscow

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The bit I posted on Twitter

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