rthstewart (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rthstewart) wrote2011-05-15 10:41 pm
rthstewart) wrote2011-05-15 10:41 pm
Entry tags:
Chapter 8, Two Hearts Day, H&M
So, I've done two things this weekend. Work and fiddle with this chapter in my very sparse downtime. Chapter 8 was clocking in at 17,000 words, so I've split it. The first part of this chapter has been seen before here on the LJ, but it's tweaked with different spin and dialogue in places and more context that is consistent with the story. I'll add comments to the anonymous reviewers shortly.
Thank you all, so much. It means the world to me that you are reading and commenting.
And, on to anonymous reviewers Flavia and AM:
Flavia noted that with Edmund living closer to the way the real people do, with his lowly status, that perhaps he has a greater appreciate for Susan's domestic management. Further, you ask how Edmund deals with Morgan's devotion to her career and the extent to which his intelligence and ego conflict over this. The answer to the first question is reflected in the bigger Stone Gryphon work. In fact, Edmund does have a greater appreciation for Susan, though not necessarily domestic management specifically as he takes little notice of it, at least at first. You raise an interesting question, though, and that's one I'll keep in mind as I move forward through Apostolic Way.
As to the second point, there is not a lot of emotional self awareness in this couple. Something that started as a joke in By Royal Decree is actually a very important point in their relationship, that Edmund is not "Father, Brother, or Peter." For Morgan, she has zeroed in on Edmund with the same single minded zeal that she affords everything else. She will never give him cause to doubt her -- which started really as just a bash on the inevitable love triangle stories but has become something more. One reason why he is comfortable with her career so to speak is that he is very confident of her devotion and loyalty.
AM noted a couple of things. She noted that By Royal Decree seems a bit without plot in comparison to the plot heavy parts of Harold and Morgan, and that I don’t really build up more of the world, like the smashball game and banking regulations. She further wondered why I don’t tweak things and take my writing pro or self-publish.
BRD is plot thin because it was supposed to be one thing, a big joke on Edmund with the traitorous bitch in the corset. I would kill the Hound off in Part 1 of TSG and so this was Jina’s backstory. Morgan was introduced for one reason only, I wanted to do the riff on Edmund’s titles in Chapter 3 and he needed to say it to someone. Enter Morgan. It was never intended to carry a plot. When I started H&M, by chapter 4, I sensed that readers really disliked the story and so dropped it, perceiving, in comparison to the popularity of BRD, that the plot heavy qualities were part of the problem. I was going to drop this story until E asked for birthday fic and Anastigmat wrote Deny the Child. The plot of the Lone Islands part of the story has been drastically scaled back. The point of the story is how Harold and Morgan get to the end, what Edmund hears at the Wall of Lilies and how he carries this relationship forward into Spare Oom. It also reflects my view of the transition after the Four leave.
As for the pro fic. Hmmm. Well, been there, done that, got the t shirt, so to speak. Actually, a lot of t shirts. There was a time when I stood at the precipice and could have tried expanding my nascent pro fiction. The ducks had lined up. I decided to not go any further than I had. I do write professionally in technical fields and fan fic is what I love. So thanks, but this is where I'll be!
Thank you all, so much. It means the world to me that you are reading and commenting.
And, on to anonymous reviewers Flavia and AM:
Flavia noted that with Edmund living closer to the way the real people do, with his lowly status, that perhaps he has a greater appreciate for Susan's domestic management. Further, you ask how Edmund deals with Morgan's devotion to her career and the extent to which his intelligence and ego conflict over this. The answer to the first question is reflected in the bigger Stone Gryphon work. In fact, Edmund does have a greater appreciation for Susan, though not necessarily domestic management specifically as he takes little notice of it, at least at first. You raise an interesting question, though, and that's one I'll keep in mind as I move forward through Apostolic Way.
As to the second point, there is not a lot of emotional self awareness in this couple. Something that started as a joke in By Royal Decree is actually a very important point in their relationship, that Edmund is not "Father, Brother, or Peter." For Morgan, she has zeroed in on Edmund with the same single minded zeal that she affords everything else. She will never give him cause to doubt her -- which started really as just a bash on the inevitable love triangle stories but has become something more. One reason why he is comfortable with her career so to speak is that he is very confident of her devotion and loyalty.
AM noted a couple of things. She noted that By Royal Decree seems a bit without plot in comparison to the plot heavy parts of Harold and Morgan, and that I don’t really build up more of the world, like the smashball game and banking regulations. She further wondered why I don’t tweak things and take my writing pro or self-publish.
BRD is plot thin because it was supposed to be one thing, a big joke on Edmund with the traitorous bitch in the corset. I would kill the Hound off in Part 1 of TSG and so this was Jina’s backstory. Morgan was introduced for one reason only, I wanted to do the riff on Edmund’s titles in Chapter 3 and he needed to say it to someone. Enter Morgan. It was never intended to carry a plot. When I started H&M, by chapter 4, I sensed that readers really disliked the story and so dropped it, perceiving, in comparison to the popularity of BRD, that the plot heavy qualities were part of the problem. I was going to drop this story until E asked for birthday fic and Anastigmat wrote Deny the Child. The plot of the Lone Islands part of the story has been drastically scaled back. The point of the story is how Harold and Morgan get to the end, what Edmund hears at the Wall of Lilies and how he carries this relationship forward into Spare Oom. It also reflects my view of the transition after the Four leave.
As for the pro fic. Hmmm. Well, been there, done that, got the t shirt, so to speak. Actually, a lot of t shirts. There was a time when I stood at the precipice and could have tried expanding my nascent pro fiction. The ducks had lined up. I decided to not go any further than I had. I do write professionally in technical fields and fan fic is what I love. So thanks, but this is where I'll be!
no subject
I really like what you did with expanding this chapter from the snippet - it's really clever, and now there's a whole new lauching point for the next part of the story. Oh, and the father, brother, Peter bit just dropped with a very big clang. Didn't really think about Morgan's father or brother. Wonderful, as always.
no subject
Oh and plot. Yes, the murder attempt had always been part of the story. Hint -- don't ever try to do a murder mystery when you have a talking Hound who you've established is practically a mind reader, or at least highly sensitive to smells, deception, and emotional states. REALLY HARD. I'd had this whole thing in my very convoluted plot where Teddy had died very dramatically and and Morgan had been poisoned and Jina rushes to the apothecary to find the poison and the antidote and yes, very complex. And there were going to be these great moments for near deathbed confessions that are not made. Ha.