rthstewart | Chapter 12, Comings and Goings, H&M

Entry tags:

Chapter 12, Comings and Goings, H&M

Chapter 12, Comings and Goings.
So, here we are at the end of a story arc long contemplated but almost not told when H&M began its slow decline this time last year.

First off thanks to those of you who read here and gave me the courage and incentive to pick it up. There was a lovely response to my Two Hearts Day piece and then E asked for Acceptance of Terms. Anastigmat’s pic fic of Morgan with the lion broach and Deny the Child followed. For a character who was introduced two years ago for no purpose greater than to allow Edmund to riff on his titles and as a jab at the conduct of evil investment bankers, we all are now stuck with Evil Banker Morgan of the House of Linch.

If you are interested, here are some notes on what would have been/should have been:
Maeve was the villain in a murder mystery to eliminate Morgan over Alan Meryl’s affections. After writing Alan and beginning to form Maeve, it just did not make sense. I also didn’t like the idea of a woman as a villain over affection, and didn’t like Morgan bedridden (see below).

The poisoning was always there but it was to have been Morgan who was poisoned at a dinner party (very Agatha Christie like), and rescued by Jina when she visits the apothecary and identifies the poison and its antidote. I have a lot of notes on medieval poisons.

There was to have been a very involved economic sub-plot that also implicated keeping Edmund’s identity a secret, the Lord Bar embezzlement, a prenuptial agreement, and tax policies. There were to have been reappearances by a very conniving Princess Evil More Dim and her kind, less dim, husband to be. Morgan and Alan were to have been more of a couple with Edmund as the definite odd man out with ensuing jealousy. This all became instead Constance and Alan Meryl.

I have complex charts and graphs of which Houses represented whom and over what accounts, all relating to the economic subplot.

Jalur was, at some point, going to come crashing through a window to save Morgan -- from what, I wasn't sure but it was probably a second assassination attempt.

The final meeting between Edmund and Director Linch is very, very different even from what was posted here in comments months ago. Until this week, I was still trying to hold on to some of it. I ended up tossing it all and going with what is presented here, with, yes, Edmund being a bit of jerk and the Director being protective of his daughter, but also mindful of his new client relationship with Narnia and the adage, "The client is always right." I liked what I wrote, but it no longer fit for Edmund had regressed and the Director had grown.

I really wanted to go the easy way out, have Seth pull a Mr. Noll, and die, thereby saving everyone the inconvenience of a greedy, craven, not especially talented, would-be murderer. But, I was mindful of the backstory -- how Noll’s suicide and the Moles’ treachery really affected Edmund (which he tells Morgan of in AW) and his views on retribution (which he discusses with Col. Clark). So, I didn’t.

I introduced Peridan completely forgetting about his real life counterpart. Oops. Once readers reminded me, I tweaked him a bit in this chapter to align him more closely with WC Reginald Tebbitt.

I have a whole thing in my head dividing the Houses on Hogwarts lines, with Stanleh as the Ravenclaws, Meryl as the Slytherins, and Linch as the Hufflepuffs and about their respective qualities that are tied to the House symbols of the red flower, yellow sun, green tree, and blue wave.

A few words about Morgan
This is my first attempt at Morgan’s rambling point of view. It was hard, and there is that moment between them, when Edmund is wanting her to say, “Can I come back to Narnia?” and she misses it completely. He is still, for all that the Code is changing, assuming that Morgan will remain in the Lone Islands, that she is committed to the relationship with Alan and assuming control of Meryl. Yeah, he’s looking for a convenient “out” and as presented here, Morgan is thinking he's really not such a great option, either. Morgan has very real and valid misgivings, which Edmund is helpfully reinforcing.

A scene also written but in the end not included is Sallowpad telling Morgan why Edmund is being so weird about Seth Stanleh. That’s come out now. It’s not nice, especially because Edmund, having taken Morgan to task for concealing things, is now concealing from her why a brother betraying his family for material gain is so affecting him. And, the readers know the reasons, so I reverted to third party points of view rather than wallowing in Ed-agnst.

There was going to be a scene with Edmund, Morgan and Aslan, with Edmund seeking advice on how to deal with Seth and Morgan basically asking Aslan, “Why am I this way?”

In the realm of TMI, RL, and the modernity and morality of the story
As I’ve said, I wrote By Royal Decree when the US and world economy were in freefall brought about in part by the collapse of the subprime mortgage lending market. There are a couple of things lurking here. First off is that the lifestyle of the bankers is very much an observation of life in the modern American workplace of lawyers, accountants, consultants, and bankers. The 80 hour week is very real to my own life experience, even now.

Second is that this is something of a meditation upon the demise of the principle of “caveat emptor” or “let the buyer beware” and its more current incarnation, “you can disclaim responsibility in the small print.” While principles of warranty and product liability have protected buyers for decades in US law, still we see every day how marketers attempt to disclaim the possibility (or probability) that things won’t go as the buyer expects with the “disclaimer.” As in, “I lost 30 pounds in two weeks” followed by the statement “Results not typical.” Or the small print disclosures in mortgage documents that very clearly stated that the home owner would have to pay the full, outstanding amount of the mortgage in 5 years and that the no down payment was in fact loaded into the mortgage and that when all was said in done, the homeowner really could not afford the house she was buying. It’s all disclosed, right? So no problem, right?

This is the view that Pierce expresses – those victims of the pyramid were told, “You could lose your money,” so what’s the problem? Even Maeve, who does take a stand, expresses her views not as, this was wrong, but you will get caught. Peter and Lucy challenge Morgan on this issue and Morgan to her credit gives a different answer.

Now, in fact, there’s been loads of interesting consumer research going to issues of consumers' poor comprehension and poor science and math literacy and the ineffectiveness of disclaimers. Consumers read “You could lose 30 pounds in two weeks, results not typical” as meaning that they could lose even more weight. Yes, I understand that at some point, you can’t protect the person who just refuses to be reasonable, but there’s something really wrong when a complex, small print disclaimer written at a level requiring a post-secondary education is sufficient to eliminate responsibility for actually achieving what is promised in the glossy, compelling advertisement. I’m not an anti-advertisement person by the way – I like it and some part of my RL has been devoted to studying, protecting and improving it. But, well, see above.

These are very recent developments in consumer protection circles and are very relevant to said economic meltdown which was in the background of BRD. And while you want to whack Edmund on the side of the head for asking Morgan to defend her moral compass, he has just lived through and heard the Captains of Industry and Robber Barons say and do some things that are pretty reprehensible to his Narnian ideals. So yeah, not cool, Edmund, but I do see his concerns as legitimate.

Regrets and whinging
My regrets about this side of the story are many. I could not fully realize the vision of the Bankers and ground it in a historically researched combination of the de Medicis, the Rothschilds, and modern Swiss and Bahamian bankers. I could not develop Gertrude Meryl into a mentor or a villain; she is just weak. It is not a compelling mystery. I did not have the story telling ability to weave a Bonfire of the Vanities, Rising Sun, or Wall Street sort of financial mystery. I could not find a way to tell a story of how economic policy is based upon moral choices with winners and losers – that there is a reason, for instance, the US tax code grants exemptions for children and home ownership and why we have trade embargoes and economic sanctions. The worldbuilding, while extensive, is still fragmentary, inconsistent, and begs for expansion.

In the end, though, it’s a Not A Romance and I would not have told the story at all were it not for readers. Morgan and Harold have a ways to go, still, before we reach the Edmund of Apostolic Way, though even there, it is only after his return from the Wall of Water that he realizes his missed opportunities.

It’s on to the Narnia Fic Exchange now, and my femgenficathon. I had a brainwave for Part 3 of H&M two days and I need to let that gel a bit. I should return to AW before people forget it exists.

Thanks again!

EDIT: For those interested in the Susan/Director of Linch ship, I blame Min, Linea, and H for this, which is also in the comments below.

Threaded | Flat

OH CONSTANCE :DDDD *hearts in eyes*

I love how we find out how the events were orchestrated, it works wonderfully :DDD

And I did want to slap Edmund round the head, but as you show, it's because a) he has to go, b) the effect of Seth's betrayal, and c) all those complicated feelings, and it works :DDD

Poor Morgan! I wanted to smack Edmund. I understood him, but I wanted to smack him.

I very much liked the reveal about Constance. It works well.

Thanks so much for writing!

It was really interesting to read about Your unrealizes plans, but even the final version was sufficiently "legal" for me. Especially by presenting a variety of bankers charachters without portraying all of them as Scrooges.

Just left you a review on FF... but thanks for sharing all this behind-the-scenes making-of stuff! I find it fascinating to see how writers work. I know when I write, I'm tempted to explain my entire thought process but I worry that I'll bore people. Well, I'm not bored. I love the progression of your storybuilding.

Oh Edmund. For all that he was a jerk in this, I really do understand where he's coming from. It's hard to hate him here (and really, I don't at all) because the readers know what will happen and we know that Morgan's dream will come true. Edmund will leave forever and it will be a very, very long time before she sees him again. But even so and before the White Stag, when Morgan does return to Narnia, we see their relationship improve. When she and Edmund discuss the events of HHB, she is very clear in her concern and her fears for him.

What's very interesting is how it was Constance that truly set everything in motion. The upheaval in the Lone Islands really has come from her; leave it to the outsider to see that which the rest of the Bankers do not.

And I do hope we'll see more of Peridan in a future story or chapter. He is so much fun!

Amazing chapter, and oh, the subtexts are astonishing. I agree with the others that Ed needs a smack, and Constance as revealed is quite scary. Review coming later when I don't have to be at work in half an hour : )

Arrrr, just wrote a lengthy review at FF and some electronic error lost it. I'll come back and write one again tomorrow.

Am I the only one who did not think Edmund was a jerk and want to smack him? I kinda wanted to smack all the Narnians who were griping about him being a jerk, actually.

Suddenly I have this feeling my worldview is decidedly off-kilter from everyone else's...

As I said on Twitter, I love that the houses are being set up to be led by all women! And I will be interested to see where Constance's story goes; she is a very sympathetic villain and I rather like her, but she was exhorting Seth to commit murder!

lady songsmith, I think I'm with you on this one!

The way I read it was that Edmund was definitely giving her an out of her situation and she just could not pick up the cue. I mean, she can't even look him in the eye! They're both stunted, they're both at fault, of course, but I am just as much of "Poor Edmund!" as I am of "Poor Morgan!", if not more. But then again, I'm an Edmund-apologist.

And hey! We can't help liking Peridan so much when it's your fault you make him so damn entertaining and, well,"explosive." That was hysterical.

I really enjoyed seeing a bit of Susan here, and enjoyed her interactions with Linch. I do have a question... I can't recall, have we ever had Susan's POV from the Narnia side at all? Maybe that's why, as I mentioned in the last review I left, I think, that I haven't gotten my head quite wrapped around Queen Susan in Narnia.

I have really enjoyed the Lone Island stint, but I do look forward to your return to AW! The way both stories tie in together and interweave is just plain fascinating to witness unfolding, especially in the Spare Oom side, when we still get the Narnian flashbacks. Just wonderful.

--Indil

[I wrote too much again, so this is broken into two pieces with some digressions pulled out into the second comment]

I thought this was a great, but difficult chapter. And the difficulty was intentional- it's covering a difficult set of events. Edmund is both distracted by the resonance of Seth's situation with his past, and trying to do what he thinks is the right thing and stay clear of Morgan's commitment to Alan and to the banking houses in general.

Of course, he goes to far, fails to say even basic, simple things to soften the blow, and generally makes a hash of it all. I have a fair amount of sympathy because I have a tendency to misread situations myself, and take myself out of them when really that wasn't what was wanted. So while Morgan's POV showed how badly he messed it up, and how far he still has to go to understand her, I can easily imagine a version of Edmund's POV in which he's looking for any sign from her, doesn't see it, and just kind of withdraws as a result, thinking it's for the best. Or possibly thinking that if she isn't going to meet him halfway then he won't either, but I really don't think he's like that- I think he's distracted and insensitive, and is (worst of all) failing to make use of Jina, Willa, Sallowpad and the others to sort things out. Jina's dissapointment and frustration were wonderfully written.

And there's been good groundwork laid that Susan, while not hostile to Morgan, is not overly fond of her either. So she has no real reason to step in, and plenty of other things to occupy her instead. I loved the flirtation with The Linch- Susan's the character about whose romantic and sexual experiences in Narnia we know the least, except that she obviously had male lovers (and female?) at some point and was pursued by nearly everyone.

This chapter explains so much about Morgan and makes her mannerisms less exasperating and more tragic. And Edmund has no idea how difficult this is for her (because she can't explain it). I also really wanted Lucy to show up and smack them both around (possibly with knives), because she's the only other human who really gets along with Morgan to any substantial degree.

As far as the reaction and whether you should continue, absolutely please do! As much as I dread it, I very much want to finally see the whole picture of "Death of a Hound" since it hopefully, in addition to the tragedy, establishes Edmund and Morgan's relationship as strong one, to the point that it is something missing in AW (and of course I also want to see more AW- much more :-) Right now their relationship is more "missed" and less "opportunity". I know you said he doesn't realize things until after the Wall of Water, but there doesn't seem to be quite enough for him to realize yet, or perhaps it just seems like it would be too easy for him to rationalize it all away as being what she wanted. Underneath it all, Edmund can't grasp the blunt practicality of the "joint venture", even being as little of a romantic as he is.

If other folks are like me, they need to take a bit of time to absorb the sad, frustrating behavior in chapters like this. I couldn't manage to write any response yesterday. It's harder to be enthusiastic when things aren't going well for the characters (for instance, the line "Edmund would wonder, for the rest of his short life, what might have happened had the summer lasted another month or three." from chapter 4 is really one of the saddest sentences I've read, and it's supposed to be. How was the reaction to chapter 11? That's probably more indicative of general interest in the fic.

-H

[and now the digressions, as they were in fact labeled, and other miscellany cut from my previous comment]

Digression: there's been plenty of innuendo of dryad sex all around for everyone but Edmund (Lucy's comment about Bacchanals and men not getting in the way in one of the maybe-rth-canon snippets being particularly illuminating). I have wondered a bit about the men. If his comments to Bacchus in Maenad of the Maquis is a guide, Peter is not at all interested in men (which seems to fit his character). There's been no comment one way or the other about Edmund. I'm not trying to push you in that direction- with Morgan around it's mostly irrelevant, and wouldn't add anything (made too much of, it would more likely subtract).

I can, however, see this Edmund deciding early on that princesses are irritating, trying something with a prince (or whomever) and deciding that it's all about as much fun but that men are no less irritating, and dismissing the whole question as "irrelevant" anyway and giving it no further thought. But aside from just liking the idea, I can mentally justify this by the facts that Edmund is relatively adventurous (with the book) and that as much as he loves the sex (and is specifically attracted to her as a woman), it's Morgan's unusual personality that really draws him in.

I did love Richard Russell's scandalous "proposition" in TSG (and Peter's amused and calm reaction to it, both at the time and after Asim left), and figure that Richard has probably tried everything at least once on general principle. Possibly twice, just to be sure, even if Mary is the one with more "exotic" tastes. Digory prefers not to ask, or even contemplate.

Digression #2: This so explains Morgan's kink about Edmund reading contracts to her. It's a perfect combination of details to occupy her mind and Edmunds presence and voice to engage the rest of her. The whole business with the book (an analytical approach to sex) always made perfect sense, and I love her dismay at the idea of Pierce going through the book with *Maeve* "of all people".

Writing-wise, my only criticism would be with the reveal of Constance. Not the reveal itself- we knew something was up with Constance and this was completely in line with the hints given. But it came as a bit of an info-dump with all of that background. I'm not quite sure what the alternative would be- in order to break it up a bit Constance would have had to have been worked into more scenes, which would be tricky- she stays *out* of scenes quite on purpose. Maybe just split into two scenes before going to Stanleh and during her time at Stanleh, and put one of the other POV bits in between. It read fine as it is, but that thought did occur to me.

Anyway, I hope you get enough response to feel encouraged about it all again soon, or at least by the time you planned to get back to these stories, anyway. I, for one, really want to find out more!

-H

Morgan's point of view worked out beautifully, and I'm so glad you did it.

Also, whinge away if it makes you feel better, but please know that as a reader, I have no regrets whatsoever. It might have been an even better story had it included a more compelling mystery, a stronger Gertrude or complex economic policy, but as it stands now the story feels coherent, tightly woven and is satisfyling. I'm glad you're telling it. Thank you.

So finally I'm home and there's a mail alert for a new chapter in my mailbox!

I ejoyed it, even though it's more sad than the last few ones have been - it's just as well written as usual, though. I was interrupted after a few paragraphs, and I appreciated the break (and made sure to have a tissue ready for my continued reading) because there was an anticipated sadness there, and I could guess what it was going to be.

I need some time (and there might not be much this week), and then I'll review on ff.net ...

Small postscript to the FF review, one day later: I would enjoy it, very much, if the Linch were to become the lover of Queen Susan, even briefly. Or if we could somehow see them interacting again (perhaps Linch brings Morgan to Cair Paravel?). I have the feeling they would be like Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall together, both Lions in outlook and deportment.

That was a great end to this section. I found Morgan's POV at the beginning somewhat uncomfortable to read - not because it wasn't good, but because I could really feel a sense of frustration in her to not be able to show what she was feeling. In that way, I think it worked really well. She may have missed it, but I certainly saw the moment of Edmund's opening, the "You will need to be here to do it?". These two really need their hounds/tigers! And I think that with the tree added to the broach, Edmund was trying to tell her something as well. I really hope they have the conversation about Seth's relevance at some point. The conversation with the beasts was also great - the whole thing feels very wistful and somewhat ominous haha. I have to admit that I am glad to know that everything works out mostly for the best. Probably one of my favourite things you have done in your entire group of work is the voices at the wall of water, and anything that connects to that and what comes after is wonderful for me.
Thanks again, I can't wait to see what you do next!

J.Apple

Hi, Rth
I just noticed something else about this last Chapter: Constance wants Morgan to move to Narnia. Presumably Aslan wants Morgan to move to Narnia (although He won't pressure, even a Divine Lion must have a preferred outcome). Does this make someone of dubious moral character a means of achieving a goal for the Lion? Do the ends ever justify the means, for Aslan? Or does He just see it all, the entire tapestry (Pace, Mr. Kay) before it's even woven?

Am back. Is it impossible for Morgan to say No? I hadn't noticed. Mmm. This makes me uncomfortable. It's a good thing that Aiden and his many small relations are there, and that within a few weeks post-White Stag, things at the Cair are normalizing (even if Jalur has become so silent). I don't want Morgan to be the Womb of Narnia, either. Interesting that it's the two who are tied to Edmund who hold their ties so tightly. We don't hear much about Lambert, other than a faint memory I have of a reported conversation between him and Aslan.

Sets in motion Edmund's return? That's an interesting idea, oh, yes, prrrrrrr.

For me, as a reader, it's perfectly acceptable to have a few outstanding tensions trailing along after the end of a story. If everything is perfectly tidy, it seems to close the cupboard door on my imagination, almost as though the fait accompli of it all doesn't leave any questions to be answered.

'E'

Wouldn't a big benefit for Morgan be Narnia itself? It mentions earlier in H&M that Morgan is more comfortable with animals and Narnian creatures than she is with humans, even other bankers. With her rat and crow like qualities, maybe Narnia is the first place she can be herself and not feel so awkward.

Also, her skills would be very much needed by the Narnians. Edmund or Susan might have figured out the tax code eventually, but possibly not in time to prevent danger to Narnia from Stanleh's venture. Yes, she's the most gifted Banker in the Lone Islands, but there are others (Maeve, Pierce) not too far behind her. In Narnia she'd be absolutely essential in their economic matters.

Maybe (and this is just pure speculation on my part) Morgan sees Edmund as part of a whole Narnia package. Edmund's a key part of the package, but not the whole thing.

Edmund is dense and Morgan is Not Helpful, but they are precious. Always.

User

snitchnipped referenced to your post from Love. (http://snitchnipped.livejournal.com/7570.html) saying: [...] s blog, which can be found somewhere in this mess: http://rthstewart.livejournal.com/49645.html [...]

Threaded | Flat

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Love.