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rthstewart ([personal profile] rthstewart) wrote2011-07-12 02:19 pm

Chapter 12, Comings and Goings, H&M


Chapter 12, Comings and Goings.
So, here we are at the end of a story arc long contemplated but almost not told when H&M began its slow decline this time last year.

First off thanks to those of you who read here and gave me the courage and incentive to pick it up. There was a lovely response to my Two Hearts Day piece and then E asked for Acceptance of Terms. Anastigmat’s pic fic of Morgan with the lion broach and Deny the Child followed. For a character who was introduced two years ago for no purpose greater than to allow Edmund to riff on his titles and as a jab at the conduct of evil investment bankers, we all are now stuck with Evil Banker Morgan of the House of Linch.

If you are interested, here are some notes on what would have been/should have been: 
Maeve was the villain in a murder mystery to eliminate Morgan over Alan Meryl’s affections. After writing Alan and beginning to form Maeve, it just did not make sense. I also didn’t like the idea of a woman as a villain over affection, and didn’t like Morgan bedridden (see below).

The poisoning was always there but it was to have been Morgan who was poisoned at a dinner party (very Agatha Christie like), and rescued by Jina when she visits the apothecary and identifies the poison and its antidote. I have a lot of notes on medieval poisons.

There was to have been a very involved economic sub-plot that also implicated keeping Edmund’s identity a secret, the Lord Bar embezzlement, a prenuptial agreement, and tax policies. There were to have been reappearances by a very conniving Princess Evil More Dim and her kind, less dim, husband to be. Morgan and Alan were to have been more of a couple with Edmund as the definite odd man out with ensuing jealousy. This all became instead Constance and Alan Meryl.

I have complex charts and graphs of which Houses represented whom and over what accounts, all relating to the economic subplot.

Jalur was, at some point, going to come crashing through a window to save Morgan -- from what, I wasn't sure but it was probably a second assassination attempt.

The final meeting between Edmund and Director Linch is very, very different even from what was posted here in comments months ago. Until this week, I was still trying to hold on to some of it. I ended up tossing it all and going with what is presented here, with, yes, Edmund being a bit of jerk and the Director being protective of his daughter, but also mindful of his new client relationship with Narnia and the adage, "The client is always right." I liked what I wrote, but it no longer fit for Edmund had regressed and the Director had grown.

I really wanted to go the easy way out, have Seth pull a Mr. Noll, and die, thereby saving everyone the inconvenience of a greedy, craven, not especially talented, would-be murderer. But, I was mindful of the backstory -- how Noll’s suicide and the Moles’ treachery really affected Edmund (which he tells Morgan of in AW) and his views on retribution (which he discusses with Col. Clark). So, I didn’t.

I introduced Peridan completely forgetting about his real life counterpart. Oops. Once readers reminded me, I tweaked him a bit in this chapter to align him more closely with WC Reginald Tebbitt.

I have a whole thing in my head dividing the Houses on Hogwarts lines, with Stanleh as the Ravenclaws, Meryl as the Slytherins, and Linch as the Hufflepuffs and about their respective qualities that are tied to the House symbols of the red flower, yellow sun, green tree, and blue wave.

A few words about Morgan
This is my first attempt at Morgan’s rambling point of view. It was hard, and there is that moment between them, when Edmund is wanting her to say, “Can I come back to Narnia?” and she misses it completely. He is still, for all that the Code is changing, assuming that Morgan will remain in the Lone Islands, that she is committed to the relationship with Alan and assuming control of Meryl. Yeah, he’s looking for a convenient “out” and as presented here, Morgan is thinking he's really not such a great option, either.  Morgan has very real and valid misgivings, which Edmund is helpfully reinforcing.

A scene also written but in the end not included is Sallowpad telling Morgan why Edmund is being so weird about Seth Stanleh. That’s come out now. It’s not nice, especially because Edmund, having taken Morgan to task for concealing things, is now concealing from her why a brother betraying his family for material gain is so affecting him. And, the readers know the reasons, so I reverted to third party points of view rather than wallowing in Ed-agnst.

There was going to be a scene with Edmund, Morgan and Aslan, with Edmund seeking advice on how to deal with Seth and Morgan basically asking Aslan, “Why am I this way?”


In the realm of TMI, RL, and the modernity and morality of the story
As I’ve said, I wrote By Royal Decree when the US and world economy were in freefall brought about in part by the collapse of the subprime mortgage lending market. There are a couple of things lurking here. First off is that the lifestyle of the bankers is very much an observation of life in the modern American workplace of lawyers, accountants, consultants, and bankers. The 80 hour week is very real to my own life experience, even now.

Second is that this is something of a meditation upon the demise of the principle of “caveat emptor” or “let the buyer beware” and its more current incarnation, “you can disclaim responsibility in the small print.” While principles of warranty and product liability have protected buyers for decades in US law, still we see every day how marketers attempt to disclaim the possibility (or probability) that things won’t go as the buyer expects with the “disclaimer.” As in, “I lost 30 pounds in two weeks” followed by the statement “Results not typical.” Or the small print disclosures in mortgage documents that very clearly stated that the home owner would have to pay the full, outstanding amount of the mortgage in 5 years and that the no down payment was in fact loaded into the mortgage and that when all was said in done, the homeowner really could not afford the house she was buying. It’s all disclosed, right? So no problem, right?

This is the view that Pierce expresses – those victims of the pyramid were told, “You could lose your money,” so what’s the problem? Even Maeve, who does take a stand, expresses her views not as, this was wrong, but you will get caught. Peter and Lucy challenge Morgan on this issue and Morgan to her credit gives a different answer.

Now, in fact, there’s been loads of interesting consumer research going to issues of consumers' poor comprehension and poor science and math literacy and the ineffectiveness of disclaimers. Consumers read “You could lose 30 pounds in two weeks, results not typical” as meaning that they could lose even more weight. Yes, I understand that at some point, you can’t protect the person who just refuses to be reasonable, but there’s something really wrong when a complex, small print disclaimer written at a level requiring a post-secondary education is sufficient to eliminate responsibility for actually achieving what is promised in the glossy, compelling advertisement. I’m not an anti-advertisement person by the way – I like it and some part of my RL has been devoted to studying, protecting and improving it. But, well, see above.

These are very recent developments in consumer protection circles and are very relevant to said economic meltdown which was in the background of BRD. And while you want to whack Edmund on the side of the head for asking Morgan to defend her moral compass, he has just lived through and heard the Captains of Industry and Robber Barons say and do some things that are pretty reprehensible to his Narnian ideals. So yeah, not cool, Edmund, but I do see his concerns as legitimate.

Regrets and whinging
My regrets about this side of the story are many. I could not fully realize the vision of the Bankers and ground it in a historically researched combination of the de Medicis, the Rothschilds, and modern Swiss and Bahamian bankers. I could not develop Gertrude Meryl into a mentor or a villain; she is just weak. It is not a compelling mystery. I did not have the story telling ability to weave a Bonfire of the Vanities, Rising Sun, or Wall Street sort of financial mystery. I could not find a way to tell a story of how economic policy is based upon moral choices with winners and losers – that there is a reason, for instance, the US tax code grants exemptions for children and home ownership and why we have trade embargoes and economic sanctions. The worldbuilding, while extensive, is still fragmentary, inconsistent, and begs for expansion.

In the end, though, it’s a Not A Romance and I would not have told the story at all were it not for readers. Morgan and Harold have a ways to go, still, before we reach the Edmund of Apostolic Way, though even there, it is only after his return from the Wall of Water that he realizes his missed opportunities.

It’s on to the Narnia Fic Exchange now, and my femgenficathon. I had a brainwave for Part 3 of H&M two days and I need to let that gel a bit. I should return to AW before people forget it exists.

Thanks again!



EDIT:  For those interested in the Susan/Director of Linch ship, I blame Min, Linea, and H for this, which is also in the comments below.
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[identity profile] rthstewart.livejournal.com 2011-07-16 12:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Hmmm. I'd not thought to tie Constance to the ends/means theme I've got running in TSG, but yes, I suppose it is there. A lot of fic writers/world builders are very focused on the precise outlines of Aslan -- who, what, extent of powers, and tied up with fate, choice, predestination.

I'm afraid this is one we'll have to put in the Rth really doesn't think much about it at all -- I never did well in theology and philosophy in college, either. I can't in my head fully reconcile free choice with divine omniscience.

Constance does have a role to play still, which really highlights her emotional intelligence -- were you the one who noted that in the review? To which again, I said, YES, that's it exactly.

I've always been uncomfortable with the idea of Morgan being destined to be the womb of Narnia. In fact, I even had a comment fic joke about that somewhere where Aslan is trying to tell her she's a child of prophecy and he only gets her attention when he tells her that Beavers would be cheaper to build a dam than Dwarfs because they will work for bark. I've wanted her to march into this knowing what she's doing for all that they are manipulated into it in the first place. Though, as Clio has pointed out, that's not wholly fair either, because Morgan cannot and doesn't fully understand the implications of single parenthood and her make up, as written, makes it pretty impossible for her to say to No.

Errr, where was I besides only on my first cuppa? I still try to hold to the idea that Morgan is not the only option. It's one of the reasons I inserted Aidan and his many small relations into the story -- besides the fact that I wanted to blow out of the water the fan fic convention as Lucy as bride of Aslan and perpetual virgin.

I've been toying with the idea, going to Morgan's choices, that in some way, she understands that the moment she decides, yes, I want to be a mother, I want to do this for all of us, is the day she sets in motion Edmund's return.

I'm a bit cross purposes here and I'm not sure I'll be able to resolve all the tensions.

[identity profile] linneasr.livejournal.com 2011-07-16 01:11 pm (UTC)(link)
On the ends / means spectrum, I don't imagine any of us are completely innocent, particularly once parenting begins. In fact, the only place where I know I am allowing the means to determine the ends is in my academic progress. As in, if I study exactly what interests me, some day I will end up doing work that interests me and for which I am extremely well-qualified. It's working, for the most part.

But, all to say, the fine line of free choice and predestination, oooohhhh, scary. I can't navigate that very well, myself, so it becomes more a question of ethics for me than theology.

Must go - will reply more later.