Chapter 12, Comings and Goings, H&M

[rthstewart]

Chapter 12, Comings and Goings.
So, here we are at the end of a story arc long contemplated but almost not told when H&M began its slow decline this time last year.

First off thanks to those of you who read here and gave me the courage and incentive to pick it up. There was a lovely response to my Two Hearts Day piece and then E asked for Acceptance of Terms. Anastigmat’s pic fic of Morgan with the lion broach and Deny the Child followed. For a character who was introduced two years ago for no purpose greater than to allow Edmund to riff on his titles and as a jab at the conduct of evil investment bankers, we all are now stuck with Evil Banker Morgan of the House of Linch.

If you are interested, here are some notes on what would have been/should have been: 
Maeve was the villain in a murder mystery to eliminate Morgan over Alan Meryl’s affections. After writing Alan and beginning to form Maeve, it just did not make sense. I also didn’t like the idea of a woman as a villain over affection, and didn’t like Morgan bedridden (see below).

The poisoning was always there but it was to have been Morgan who was poisoned at a dinner party (very Agatha Christie like), and rescued by Jina when she visits the apothecary and identifies the poison and its antidote. I have a lot of notes on medieval poisons.

There was to have been a very involved economic sub-plot that also implicated keeping Edmund’s identity a secret, the Lord Bar embezzlement, a prenuptial agreement, and tax policies. There were to have been reappearances by a very conniving Princess Evil More Dim and her kind, less dim, husband to be. Morgan and Alan were to have been more of a couple with Edmund as the definite odd man out with ensuing jealousy. This all became instead Constance and Alan Meryl.

I have complex charts and graphs of which Houses represented whom and over what accounts, all relating to the economic subplot.

Jalur was, at some point, going to come crashing through a window to save Morgan -- from what, I wasn't sure but it was probably a second assassination attempt.

The final meeting between Edmund and Director Linch is very, very different even from what was posted here in comments months ago. Until this week, I was still trying to hold on to some of it. I ended up tossing it all and going with what is presented here, with, yes, Edmund being a bit of jerk and the Director being protective of his daughter, but also mindful of his new client relationship with Narnia and the adage, "The client is always right." I liked what I wrote, but it no longer fit for Edmund had regressed and the Director had grown.

I really wanted to go the easy way out, have Seth pull a Mr. Noll, and die, thereby saving everyone the inconvenience of a greedy, craven, not especially talented, would-be murderer. But, I was mindful of the backstory -- how Noll’s suicide and the Moles’ treachery really affected Edmund (which he tells Morgan of in AW) and his views on retribution (which he discusses with Col. Clark). So, I didn’t.

I introduced Peridan completely forgetting about his real life counterpart. Oops. Once readers reminded me, I tweaked him a bit in this chapter to align him more closely with WC Reginald Tebbitt.

I have a whole thing in my head dividing the Houses on Hogwarts lines, with Stanleh as the Ravenclaws, Meryl as the Slytherins, and Linch as the Hufflepuffs and about their respective qualities that are tied to the House symbols of the red flower, yellow sun, green tree, and blue wave.

A few words about Morgan
This is my first attempt at Morgan’s rambling point of view. It was hard, and there is that moment between them, when Edmund is wanting her to say, “Can I come back to Narnia?” and she misses it completely. He is still, for all that the Code is changing, assuming that Morgan will remain in the Lone Islands, that she is committed to the relationship with Alan and assuming control of Meryl. Yeah, he’s looking for a convenient “out” and as presented here, Morgan is thinking he's really not such a great option, either.  Morgan has very real and valid misgivings, which Edmund is helpfully reinforcing.

A scene also written but in the end not included is Sallowpad telling Morgan why Edmund is being so weird about Seth Stanleh. That’s come out now. It’s not nice, especially because Edmund, having taken Morgan to task for concealing things, is now concealing from her why a brother betraying his family for material gain is so affecting him. And, the readers know the reasons, so I reverted to third party points of view rather than wallowing in Ed-agnst.

There was going to be a scene with Edmund, Morgan and Aslan, with Edmund seeking advice on how to deal with Seth and Morgan basically asking Aslan, “Why am I this way?”


In the realm of TMI, RL, and the modernity and morality of the story
As I’ve said, I wrote By Royal Decree when the US and world economy were in freefall brought about in part by the collapse of the subprime mortgage lending market. There are a couple of things lurking here. First off is that the lifestyle of the bankers is very much an observation of life in the modern American workplace of lawyers, accountants, consultants, and bankers. The 80 hour week is very real to my own life experience, even now.

Second is that this is something of a meditation upon the demise of the principle of “caveat emptor” or “let the buyer beware” and its more current incarnation, “you can disclaim responsibility in the small print.” While principles of warranty and product liability have protected buyers for decades in US law, still we see every day how marketers attempt to disclaim the possibility (or probability) that things won’t go as the buyer expects with the “disclaimer.” As in, “I lost 30 pounds in two weeks” followed by the statement “Results not typical.” Or the small print disclosures in mortgage documents that very clearly stated that the home owner would have to pay the full, outstanding amount of the mortgage in 5 years and that the no down payment was in fact loaded into the mortgage and that when all was said in done, the homeowner really could not afford the house she was buying. It’s all disclosed, right? So no problem, right?

This is the view that Pierce expresses – those victims of the pyramid were told, “You could lose your money,” so what’s the problem? Even Maeve, who does take a stand, expresses her views not as, this was wrong, but you will get caught. Peter and Lucy challenge Morgan on this issue and Morgan to her credit gives a different answer.

Now, in fact, there’s been loads of interesting consumer research going to issues of consumers' poor comprehension and poor science and math literacy and the ineffectiveness of disclaimers. Consumers read “You could lose 30 pounds in two weeks, results not typical” as meaning that they could lose even more weight. Yes, I understand that at some point, you can’t protect the person who just refuses to be reasonable, but there’s something really wrong when a complex, small print disclaimer written at a level requiring a post-secondary education is sufficient to eliminate responsibility for actually achieving what is promised in the glossy, compelling advertisement. I’m not an anti-advertisement person by the way – I like it and some part of my RL has been devoted to studying, protecting and improving it. But, well, see above.

These are very recent developments in consumer protection circles and are very relevant to said economic meltdown which was in the background of BRD. And while you want to whack Edmund on the side of the head for asking Morgan to defend her moral compass, he has just lived through and heard the Captains of Industry and Robber Barons say and do some things that are pretty reprehensible to his Narnian ideals. So yeah, not cool, Edmund, but I do see his concerns as legitimate.

Regrets and whinging
My regrets about this side of the story are many. I could not fully realize the vision of the Bankers and ground it in a historically researched combination of the de Medicis, the Rothschilds, and modern Swiss and Bahamian bankers. I could not develop Gertrude Meryl into a mentor or a villain; she is just weak. It is not a compelling mystery. I did not have the story telling ability to weave a Bonfire of the Vanities, Rising Sun, or Wall Street sort of financial mystery. I could not find a way to tell a story of how economic policy is based upon moral choices with winners and losers – that there is a reason, for instance, the US tax code grants exemptions for children and home ownership and why we have trade embargoes and economic sanctions. The worldbuilding, while extensive, is still fragmentary, inconsistent, and begs for expansion.

In the end, though, it’s a Not A Romance and I would not have told the story at all were it not for readers. Morgan and Harold have a ways to go, still, before we reach the Edmund of Apostolic Way, though even there, it is only after his return from the Wall of Water that he realizes his missed opportunities.

It’s on to the Narnia Fic Exchange now, and my femgenficathon. I had a brainwave for Part 3 of H&M two days and I need to let that gel a bit. I should return to AW before people forget it exists.

Thanks again!



EDIT:  For those interested in the Susan/Director of Linch ship, I blame Min, Linea, and H for this, which is also in the comments below.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

[and now the digressions, as they were in fact labeled, and other miscellany cut from my previous comment]

Digression: there's been plenty of innuendo of dryad sex all around for everyone but Edmund (Lucy's comment about Bacchanals and men not getting in the way in one of the maybe-rth-canon snippets being particularly illuminating). I have wondered a bit about the men. If his comments to Bacchus in Maenad of the Maquis is a guide, Peter is not at all interested in men (which seems to fit his character). There's been no comment one way or the other about Edmund. I'm not trying to push you in that direction- with Morgan around it's mostly irrelevant, and wouldn't add anything (made too much of, it would more likely subtract).

I can, however, see this Edmund deciding early on that princesses are irritating, trying something with a prince (or whomever) and deciding that it's all about as much fun but that men are no less irritating, and dismissing the whole question as "irrelevant" anyway and giving it no further thought. But aside from just liking the idea, I can mentally justify this by the facts that Edmund is relatively adventurous (with the book) and that as much as he loves the sex (and is specifically attracted to her as a woman), it's Morgan's unusual personality that really draws him in.

I did love Richard Russell's scandalous "proposition" in TSG (and Peter's amused and calm reaction to it, both at the time and after Asim left), and figure that Richard has probably tried everything at least once on general principle. Possibly twice, just to be sure, even if Mary is the one with more "exotic" tastes. Digory prefers not to ask, or even contemplate.

Digression #2: This so explains Morgan's kink about Edmund reading contracts to her. It's a perfect combination of details to occupy her mind and Edmunds presence and voice to engage the rest of her. The whole business with the book (an analytical approach to sex) always made perfect sense, and I love her dismay at the idea of Pierce going through the book with *Maeve* "of all people".

Writing-wise, my only criticism would be with the reveal of Constance. Not the reveal itself- we knew something was up with Constance and this was completely in line with the hints given. But it came as a bit of an info-dump with all of that background. I'm not quite sure what the alternative would be- in order to break it up a bit Constance would have had to have been worked into more scenes, which would be tricky- she stays *out* of scenes quite on purpose. Maybe just split into two scenes before going to Stanleh and during her time at Stanleh, and put one of the other POV bits in between. It read fine as it is, but that thought did occur to me.

Anyway, I hope you get enough response to feel encouraged about it all again soon, or at least by the time you planned to get back to these stories, anyway. I, for one, really want to find out more!

-H

[(Anonymous)]

So, I'm going to muse on Digression 1, rather than work on NFE for the moment and try to stop from angsting all over the place about what is up and done. First off, thanks so much, H. I really and hugely appreciate your thoughtful comments. As to Digression 1, goodness, you are paying close attention!! Closer than I am, at times, but.. well, not completely. Some of this is thought out completely, and other parts, are make it up as I go.

I will say that Peter's calm reaction to Richard in TSG is indicative of his character -- far more so than his reaction to Bacchus in Maenad. The prompt for MotM specifically asked for no slash, and so that's why that was in there. I wanted to acknowledge Bacchus' very, well to borrow from Capt Jack Harkness/Torchwood, omni-sexual view of things, but still stay within the prompt. And, I thought it was funny to have Bacchus say, well, if you don't want women, what about men? Having grounded this Narnia vision in the natural and biological of this world, there is in fact significant data supporting same sex couplings and relationships, particularly m/m, and then of course there are the mythological roots of Bacchus, dryads and the wood folk -- satyrs and fauns. So, it's certainly there in the background and while I don't have a particular story to tell, I could easily see (and assume) same sex bonding for all of the Pevensies in Narnia at some point. In my head canon, I've actually assumed that most of Lucy and Susan's Narnian lovers were in female form (Dryad or otherwise) -- the furthest I took that was the Star story with Lucy and Liliandil. In Spare Oom, I've assumed that Mary has tried to get Polly drunk to seduce her because she will try to get close to any whom Richard loves. And, as you say, I can see Richard trying anything at least once. I would not rule out Dryads, male or female, for Edmund or Peter -- just not during the Spring for Edmund.

Whoa, I'll just delete the long digression on Morgan and Edmund and the significance of "not father, brother, or Peter" and my further digressions on wild dryad tree sex and kingmaking rituals. Stopping now with a huge and sincere thanks.

[rthstewart.livejournal.com]

Gawd, I went anonymous in my own LJ.

[(Anonymous)]

LOL! That's funny.

While I was totally willing to buy Peter as a pretty much heterosexual man given his fixation on Dinan (I'm sure there were other dryads or whatever who would have been about as uncomplicated), I much prefer the notion that all four of them had pretty flexible views and experiences :-) And I like that it's all rooted in the natural view of Narnia, which now that you mention it really does provide a clear underpinning for so much in the series. Even if the m/m stuff is just in the background- if there's no specific story to tell, there's no point in trying to force one. With the girls, I do assume that Susan had at least one significant male lover at some point in order for things with Tebbitt to feel familiar.

And now I'll have to go contemplate what further significance of "not father, brother or Peter" there might be. Very much enjoying the conversation!

-H

[rthstewart.livejournal.com]

Writing-wise, my only criticism would be with the reveal of Constance.
Yep, it's a big ole expository info dump. I knew that and could figure out various ways to do it, but in the end, I wanted to just get it done. I had thought to have her in a scene with Susan or Lambert or both where at least her background with Lucy and Briony comes out -- or to lengthen the conversation with Maeve and include Constance's dissertation on how to fool a Narnian. But, though she would take Maeve into her confidence insofar as getting Morgan out of Narrowhave, I didn't see her confiding so much of her method. I'd also thought of having one or both of them writing to Susan -- at the beginning of BRD there's a mention of Lone Islands letters. In the end, at 15,000 words and rising, I decided it was just time to stop. I usually try to move things forward through dialogue, internal or otherwise, and did not want to get into her conniving head too soon.