rthstewart | Chapter 9, School Daze and other ramblings on the 2 year anniversary

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Chapter 9, School Daze and other ramblings on the 2 year anniversary

So, Chapter 9 of AW went up today, on the second anniversary of when I started posting TSG. Yikes. My notifications through FF.net are completely screwy. I am not getting them at all or they come 12 to 24 hours later. This doesn't help my perennial anxiety whenever I post. So, do let me know, here or via a review if you got it.

A huge thanks to all of you who made note of letters that you wanted to read and thought should be included. In looking through this chapter, it really is a sum and substance of so much that has gone before and so much of what is to come.

The Research
I always say this but in this case, it was really hard to write of Ruby suffering racism and what I am doing to Jill Pole and her family. Sources on black race relations in the UK were wildly conflicting and contradictory, but among the ones I looked to:

The WRENS
Caribbean RAF
Experiences of a Black British Commonwealth Soldier
The Yanks are Coming -- Black American Soldiers in the UK
Meeting Joe Louis
Moving Here
WREN at Bletchley Park
The women of Bletchley Park

On issues of recruitment, training, and such (with a huge thanks to Theoretica!)

Recruiting and training
Paradata, Anthony John Clark
(and others at the site)
Pegasus Bridge
2nd Airborne Battalion, Oxs & Bucks
Ambrose's Pegasus Bridge: June 6, 1944
Kramer's Flames in the Field: The Story of Four SOE Agents in Occupied France

Also, pretty! Beaulieu
And because there must be a beaver, Castor fiber
Mary Elizabeth Sutherland, MP, Labour Party Chief Woman Officer
A History of the Blue Funnel Line
Lane's, The Merchant Seaman's War

Reflections
2 years! Whoa. The highlights are undoubtedly the awesome women I've met along the way with amazing interests and insights. Yes, I know, ideally, I had this all this story mapped and presented it to you like Athena from Zeus' head. But, I enjoy immensely treating this as an interactive and iterative process. Over and over there are things here that are far better because readers helped me put it there. Fan fic provides the framework for our interaction -- the excuse that allows us to get to know each other better across the great expanse of the Internet, like ladies chatting across a backyard fence.

The lowlights? Oh gosh, no surprise there. Finding myself all unknowing in the middle of a culture war and the stinging slump of last summer. The beauty of the highlights described above, however, is what truly pulls me through. Thanks so much for the friendship!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You know, I was literally just on AW and did not see the next chapter was out until I came here to look. Have skipped your comments about the chapter here for while I go off to devour it. FF.net notifications are definitely not working for me then.

Read, adored and reviewed! Really, there were so many good moments in there, I don't know if I could pick a favorite. The ones that definitely stood out for me (now that I read all of it) include Peter and the OTC; Susan writing/receiving from Tebbitt, Gladys and Peter; Mary and Eustace; Edmund and his mother.

What I forgot to mention in my review was that Lucy writing to Aidan showed us more about their relationship than the bits we've seen sprinkled among your stories. It is certainly a more open relationship than Edmund and Morgan's and despite being able to talk to those beyond the Wall, it seems this is also a way for Lucy to talk to Aidan privately.

despite being able to talk to those beyond the Wall, it seems this is also a way for Lucy to talk to Aidan privately. This is one of those things that I threw out there back in the Heart and Mind chapter in TQSiT and never thought much about it. It's very vague in that chapter and while I call it "talks with dead people" and that's how Peter and Susan describe it, when she actually does it as a point of view character in that chapter it is much, much more vague. More in terms of feelings and only with those with whom she is very close -- specially Aidan and Briony and Aslan. I had a review comment on why she doesn't do it with, say the dead of Europe now in the War and that if I don't explain it, it could come off as a superpower. So, I'm thinking about this a little more. I certainly did not assume that it was something that it applied to the dead of Spare Oom.

STOP DROP AND FLAIL!

Is pretty much the reaction I had to reading this :D I plan to leave a long glorious review on the fic itself, but first: Aidan! Rat and Crow! Mrs Pevensie! The OTC being running around in mud!!! (Which it still is today xD) (And yes, this excited me more because I was like "OMG CADET-LIKE UNITS EEEEEE!" like the weirdo I am xD) WRNS! Mary kicking arse via letter! Lucy kicking arse with enthusiastic writing!

*sighs happily and goes back to read again*

Thanks so much. If you spot anything that doesn't seem right in terms of units and enlistment and the OTC and all the rest, do let me know. I've felt very, very insecure about this part of the story so any help is appreciated!

._. Edmund writing in his diary near killed me. Lucy too, although she seemed to have a better emotional grasp of the situation.

However, everything else was so lovely and detailed, I was beside myself. My favorite letter is between the French teachers regarding Susan, although Mary's letter to Eustace's teacher cracked me up. Honestly, every single bit was a pleasure to read, and I love all of the crossed lines as many characters are introduced to each other, and the bits start coming together for the future.

Thank you once again for providing such a wonderful end to my day!

Those parts with the diaries are only there because readers wanted to read them and told me. This happens over and over and I'm so grateful.

I was able to push a lot of things forward with the letters, more even than I had thought, and it's a useful way to get loads of exposition accomplished.

Thanks so much for reading. I do wonder if I've just created another OC in Mme. Simon

What a perfect way to end a birthday, thank you!
I loved this chapter. Very interesting to see small slices of life from so many of the characters you have in this creation - and I don't think I realized how many you have! Yet they are all interesting and distinct. A few things that stuck out: Was this the first time we have heard from Mr. Pevensie? Seems like this could be the cause of some difficulties for Peter(and a neat contrast between Tom/Jack and John/Peter). Very interesting way to introduce Jill, I really enjoyed her mother. We are starting to see clearer paths for Peter, Susan and Lucy. Lucy being confused because Jack seems to have a crush on her (if I read that correctly?). My favourite part was Edmund's journal and letters with Mrs. Pevensie. Was he writing to Morgan?
I think I have rambled long enough, haha. Maybe I'll see more upon the second reading.

Thanks again,
JamieApple

Thank you. Yes, Edmund was writing to Morgan. And you did read Lucy's concern correctly. It is the first we've heard from Mr. Pevensie and yes, it's an issue for Peter. His devotion and duty to the path laid out for him by his father and the Professor, which is pretty neatly summarized in the letter, is part of the issue for Peter. And while the reader sees it, Peter does not. Going back to some of the things that Richard observes about Peter makes these exchanges regarding John Pevensie that much clearer (I hope). Richard understood the idea of Peter as the eldest son, surrounded by brilliant people, and laboring under impossibly high expectations that everyone thinks he should meet if he just tries hard enough.

Thank you again

Oh, I really enjoyed that. I loved the understated way Mrs. Pevensie is reacting to everything, and I loved Lucy's spelling.

Thank you!

I got the notification right away (before your lj post, at any rate) and have left a review on the chapter. Really love everything you've got there!

I got notifications for the chapter going up over 24 hours later. My notifications are 12-36 hours late. RAWRR. Also, I did tweak that Willa & Reep line to make it clear that it was a "spiritual" relationship in Susan's mind. Reep was assuming that so famous a rodent as Willa had to be a mouse.

Wow, that late? Crazy! Especially since it doesn't seem to be happening to anyone else.

And that Willa and Reep line makes more sense now. And isn't it such a Reep thing to do, to assume he's related to Willa because how could she be anything BUT a mouse? :D

Wonderful! I loved the tiny insights into each character.

Thanks for writing!

Thank you!

So much good stuff. This was a great way to move forward a lot of small plot threads. Loved everything, but some thoughts in random order: I do hope Edmund and Lucy do at some point get to discuss Morgan and Aidan. Their diary entries were both sweet and heartbreaking. Mrs. Pevensie is my favorite new character. Exciting things ahead for Susan and Peter! I look forward to hearing how they will react in different ways to complicated situations. LOVE Mary's letter to Edmund's teacher. Hilarious and she rocks. I am greatly enjoying the thought of her kicking some butt on Ruby's behalf. Do we know what illness Richard has? I forget if you put that in a note much earlier. The letter to his other wife was sad too.

Thank you! Richard describes his disease as palsy and dementia -- I would characterize it as either Dementia with Lewey Bodies or a combination of Parkinson's and Alzheimer's. And those diary entries are in the story because readers suggested it so thanks to those who gave me the idea. Mary's letter was one of the earliest ones I did. I enjoyed have her championing Eustace's reading of all those wrong books.

Thanks again!

Hopefully ff.net will let you know that I have FINALLY caught up on reviewing all of AW! I only realized after leaving a review for Ch 9 that I left out my favorite part - the story you are crafting around Jill. Can't wait to see where that goes!

I have only received some of the notifications TODAY. Thank you SO MUCH. I truly appreciate it. I'm looking forward to Jill too. I had a hard time with Lucy and the mirror. In this vision, I didn't want to play up the characterization that she might be envious of Susan. This Lucy characterization is really delving into the Valiant and her fearlessness and her generosity. And that given how close she is to Aslan, she has real issues with stodgy conventional worship and the men who preach it. I don't think of saints as being particularly comfortable people to be around, and I see that in Lucy's characterization here. It is just one vision of her characteristics. Thank you so much

Great chapter!

I love the poor people who are taken aback by Susan and Peter's real (physiscal) age. It must be worst for Ssan because at 15 she is probably full grown already and make up will do a lot to make her look older.

But I can just see the poor recruter learning that the boy who aced their games is only 16.

And talking about age, my favorite part was Lucy's letter to Aidan. She was an adult in this letter, an adult who never forgot how to have fun and who occasionaly indulges in acting her aparent age but she was an adult talking to her beloved husband. It is so rare.

Thank you so much! As mentioned, those diary entries are here only because readers suggested it! I like Aidan a lot myself. He's a very decent guy and I just could not see Lucy with anyone who was a jerk.

Thank you and don't be a stranger!

Rth

How bizarre. I got the ff notification right away, all completely normal (at least as far as I can tell). Review went up last night.

It's a fabulous chapter. Congrats on both it and the anniversary. I've really enjoyed the ride, and judging by the feedback, so have many others.

Nice one on the still nameless Mrs P - that was very clever, and so much in keeping with the time. And what's with Mr P? I'm not sure that I like him very much either. Seems like an oblivious, and overly self-assured twerp. It is very interesting, though. It then struck me that if this 'normal' behaviour for him, and not merely something brought on by the War, then perhaps there is much explained about Edmund's early brattiness. Peter as the fair-haired child, weight of parental disapproval on the unfavoured son, blah-blah. The trope of Mr P as the only one who understands Ed, and his reaction to losing that support, are fairly well established. Was this another 'against fanon convention' moment, or just a happy coincidence? Either way, it's inspired.

So too are the diary entries. Harold and Morgan may be emotionally stunted and oblivious, but it seems that once Lucy smacked Ed in the face (figuratively speaking), and got him to pay attention, he does still see the important stuff, even though it's hard. And the letter between Susan and Peter is also fabulous.

I really love both the summary and future setup aspects of this chapter. Inspired : )

I was not aware of the fandom tropes regarding Ed and his father. So, in this case, nope, I am not reacting to it. In fact, the relationship between Mr. P and his boys is one that I've been working through for 2.5 years.

Major meta involving Mr. P ahead... First off, I have known from the very beginning that he was a stodgy, super smart, hypercritical sort who had a plan for his older son involving the Classics and a nice civil service job. That's the plan, that's always been the plan and he assumes, as everyone else does, including Peter, that This is the Way It Is. Richard pegged it from the very beginning, probably because he's the younger son in a family of overachieving English males. He notes immediately that Peter has got the eldest son syndrome and that he's surrounded by brilliant people and ultimately that those people believe Peter incapable of failing at anything. Peter believes he can do anything. This is all in Part 1 and this letter of John's to his son sums it up.

Second, John has been in the war since 1939. He's been home very sporadically if at all and lied to his children about a discharge and lied to his wife about this "trip" to America. John has no idea who his children are. He's heard his wife talk about the changes; he's read the letters, sort of. But really? he's not seen it. He has no clue. They are total strangers to him.

He has also been in combat (I think). I don't know his rank or where he's served. He is a smart man, but a part of him, emotionally, has been closed off -- partly be necessity and partly because he's just a male and a product of his time when the wife did EVERYTHING.

Mrs. P, on the other hand, has seen it and as she told Peter is getting tired of men telling her it's all in her head. She has been trying to get her husband to see there is something strange going on. So, not only is he discounting her observations, but the only real role she has, as wife, mother, housewife, is being deprecated when he tells her that for all that she sees the children more than he does, she's obviously just making it up.

The War, from the research, trashed family lives and it got worse when the war went on for another 3 years after the Americans entered. Infidelity and same sex relationships were common as documented in the data done after the war but suppressed for decades. I quote Churchill about the family being the backbone, blah blah, in an earlier chapter and was being ironic. There are issues in this marriage and yeah, I'm going there.

Something that came up recently as I worked through the chapters on parents and children and absent parents and single parenting, is the comparison between Edmund and his father -- both absent fathers. I've known all along that Edmund left a child behind -- I had not thought of comparing it to Mr. P, but that does add a layer of complexity to the relationship. We're a long way from that issue, but it has been one that was in my head from the very beginning.

Woof, that's a heavy duty bag of issues - can't wait : )

Maybe the 'Ed-feels-abandoned-by-his-father-and-begins-to-really-play-up' theme isn't as common as I think, but I feel like I've read quite a few variants on that theme. Anyways...

I realized that for all that meta above, I didn't really address if being rejected by Dad was the reason Edmund became such a pill before Narnia. I suppose I tend to think that to the extent there is familial anger it's directed at Peter rather than at his father.
and Dad isn't there and would have left gosh.. when Edmund was 8 or 9? Peter is an easier target, it seems. And yes, I think there are those stories out there, though mostly what I've seen are the over the top emo ones between Peter and Edmund that read like pre-slash but supposedly are not. I DO write directly contrary to those, which is why I always have Peter and Edmund slapping each other on the back so hard you could break a hand or toss a fellow into the shrubbery. The whole bit with Edmund crying at Fulborn Fen in Chapter 2 of Part 2 over the voices behind the Wall took A LOT for me to put out there. Weeping. Egads

Hi, that’s once again me.
I’m always happy to see a new chapter of yours, even if finding it in the morning nearly results in me being late. Anyway, I’ve had to wait with making comments till evening. But now – here I go.

– Col. George Walker-Smythe – Maj. A.A.M. al-Masri – Susan
The problem of British Intelligence understanding „Narnia” as code (introduced at the end of 8 chapter) disturbes me. I can see, of course, how you lead Susan to "The Last Battle". But there are other problems as well. The rest of the Four, Eustace, professor Kirke or Polly Plummer – they are not bound to keep silence. Quite the opposite, it’s unthinkable that Susan could ask them not to talk about Narnia (I suppose the moment she would do that would be a moment she stops to be „a Friend of Narnia”). But as the most of them are close to Asim, we could assume that sooner or later he’ll hear them talking about Narnia and other associated places and creatures. If anyone, he’s the one who could believe that „Narnia” is something more then just a code to deceive censors (especially that he saw telegram from Edmund to Peter in chapter 15 p. 4 of "The Stone Gryphon"). But will he believe it is more important than rules of secrecy in Intelligence Service during the war? I expect there to be a fight between his duty and practicality against somewhat unreasonable Peter’s influence on him (of the Friends of Narnia Peter is on the strongest position here – at least until Asim finally meets Lucy).

– Susan – Eustace
I am really happy to see her 100% Narnian Queen Susan the Gentle here.

– Tebbitt – Susan
P.S. and P.P.S. – I’ve imagined the situation. Charming.

– Anne Featherstone – Mrs. Alastair Francis Featherstone
>I have found, since returning to school, a frog in my shoes, spiders in my bed, and a mouse nest among my jumpers.
Carefully. Remember Lucy’s age. Was there no better way to show her disapproval to Anne? And yes, I’ve read what she had written to Aidan. Just – be careful.

– Eustace – Edmund
> You called it. I knew it would be awful returning, and it is.
Well, Edmund went through all this after his first return from Narnia, no surprise that he was able to warn his cousin. In fact, it must have been even worse for Edmund as his change was much stronger and – from his point of view – much more time had passed. The voyage of the Dawn Treader took few months. Edmund had to answer for his misconduct after many years.

– Anning Russell – Mr. John Taylor
I really like her style of writing – scientifical mixed with open insults. Plus a threat at the end. Probably the best example of individual style of letter corresponding to person’s character.

– Miss Lucy Pevensie – Lawrence Holt – Frederick James Leathers, 1st Viscount Leathers
Well said – short (so they wouldn’t have any excuses not to read it), clear, concrete and peremptory.
I really like Lucy as a person who reacts when she sees anything she doesn’t like – without thinking if she is the right person to do so. Sort of „Who, if not me”-person. Or rather: „Something should be done so I do it, no matter if others are doing that as well/consider it proper or not”.
Relation between Lucy and Polly seems very strong and very natural. I suppose it is highly based on similarity of characters – despite all the differences. In „The Stone Gryphon” you’ve written about Polly „Regiments would part before her” and „Polly thought a battalion of bus touring English Maiden (Ha!) aunts could probably clean Berlin of Nazis”. Lucy the Valiant has the same strength of the person who won’t slow down, expecting a wall in front of her to collapse just before she reaches it.

– Edmund Pevensie – Lt. Colonel Thomas B. Clark
I intended to comment that one as well but then I realised that it would lead to another long history lecture. So I reconsidered.

You have indeed spotted the issue regarding the complexity of using Narnia and the Code. If Asim is listening (and he's ALWAYS listening) and someone tries to talk about Narnia, you can see Susan immediately saying, "Oh la! what a game!"

Matching Lucy up with Polly and Digory is almost scary in its possibilities. I could see Lucy with an EVEN bigger umbrella and carpet bag. And for the person who is the symbol of faith in Narnia, Lucy's struggles with the brand of Christianity she is exposed to is going to be hard.

Thank you for the compliments on Mrs. Pevensie. She's aggravating readers a bit in the way that Mary did. She has more insight than Mary, but they are both insecure, though in different ways. Mary is insecure about being underestimated and underappreciated. Mrs. P is insecure because she does not feel she is needed and that her children have lives that she is not part of. And, her husband thinks she's an idiot.

As for the food, well, there's the war to consider too. The English are nearly starving and the Americans are not used to that sort of want. The Clarks are also from New England and they have their own food traditions. The Clarks are great fun to write. All of them, plus Ruby and besides, Tom Clark is my boyfriend.

Readers had asked about Richard and Mary and I realized that I need to do something about that relationship in the next chapter. But, Wangari is the other part of his story and after someone suggested he write to mary as his health faded, I thought Wangari would be better choice.

Thanks so much Krystyna!

– Mrs. John Pevensie – Edmund Pevensie
I haven’t written it before, so I’ll do it here. I really like what you’ve made of Mrs. Pevensie – the way she understands and knows her children despite years which passed, but leaving some spheres which are beyond her range.

– Tom Clark – John T. Clark
> As for the food, it's awful.
It’s not that I’m a great fan of British food, but how can American complain about anybody’s food?
> I am omitting for your sake my usual harangue on the subject of segregation in the American armed forces. Please don't tell any of your British friends. We're not supposed to talk about it and I'm the hypocrite for hating it but following the order to not discuss it.
It’s good that at least he can see the hypocrisy there – his own and, I suspect, of those who have given that order. But one should expect nothing less from him as he has Ruby in the house.

– John T. Clark – Lucy
>I'm sending you half the Hershey bar I got from Dad.
It seems the boy had learned his lesson.
>I wish everyone spoke English!
„In America they haven’t used it for years.”
>The sports are good but this time of year back home we would be playing American football
„How one can trust people who play football with their hands?”

– Richard Russell – Wangari
When you’ve asked whose letters you should include I haven’t thought about that one – seems I’ve forgotten about Richard’s second (or rather: first) wife. I’m really glad he hasn’t.

– Polly Plummer – Richard Russell
> I am not, however, daft and so I shall decline to mount an invasion of occupied Norway to locate breeding pairs of Castor fiber.
It’s a shame, because I find that idea brilliant. But still – there is other option. They could ask couriers between governments in exile and underground in Europe to bring some beavers from the continent. And thus save some of them from Nazi occupation.

– Peter – Susan
I’m glad to see that Peter is finally waking up. Though I do agree with those who know him that it will be very difficult for him to take orders from others.
>To do so hurts our Father and the Lion certainly expects more of me. I expect more of myself.
It’s good he’s added that second sentence. I’m quite sure Aslan doesn’t want Peter to be a hostage of his father’s wishes. Especially that his father doesn’t seem to be the most estimable person. Of course, it’s not a big consolation – considering Peter’s sense of duty.

– Mrs. John Pevensie – Polly Plummer
>I believe that as the National Labour Party Chief Woman Officer, Miss Sutherland is the most esteemed person Lucy has ever met!
If she only knew...

I’m not sure if I should be sorry for not commenting on all the letters or for writing it that long, so just pick one.
I’m waiting for the next chapter.

Best as always,
Krystyna

> As for the food, it's awful.
It’s not that I’m a great fan of British food, but how can American complain about anybody’s food?

The greatest difference between American and British ~~cuisine~~cooking is that Americans accept an innocent piece of meat's surrender, while Brits take extra care to be absolutely certain it is entirely and completely dead.

Yes, I've seen that. An innocent piece of meat bleeding to death, still whispering "Help... Help..." with it's last breath. But if somebody considers that as an advantage...

Well, but at least it can still be chewed, rather than used to resole shoes. :P

Loving the chapters as always, Rth!! Happy anniversary!

I discovered your fiction on AOOO (I love the download option over there and am re-reading The Queen Susan in Tashbaan on my ereader. What can I say but please please keep it up - I love the historical content and the parallels with Narnia and seeing the Pevensies as almost 2 personalities each...

Thank you so much! Please don't be a stranger!

Big fan of your Narnia fics on ff.net. Re-reading them because I haven't had the pleasure in a while- life got busy. I love your Pevensies and your Eustace and, oh, your voice on everyone. Do you mind if I friend you?

Done! And thank you! it's lovely to "meet" you and I hope you won't be a stranger!

Just wanted to let you know that I read everything you've posted of the Stone Gryphon series so far, and whoa, what a series it is! I love how you've developed the characters and given them purpose. Moreover, I love the intricate research in the stories. Just...wow. Thanks for posting this awesome fiction. Honestly.

Also, I hope you don't mind me friend-ing you because your interpretation of Narnia is truly something to behold! :P

**to behold.

Not sure where that last word went. Hurm.

Thank you and welcome aboard! There are quite a few of us around here and it is lovely to chat with readers and I'm so grateful! Again, t hanks so much. I've returned the friending. How did you find the stories? Have you been reading the other side of things?

Harold and Morgan took my attention for a while and then I had to write my Narnia Fic Exchange and now I'm just finishing a second abandoned prompt and that story is GULP... well, going there and I'm pretty excited about it. Then I have one final (Narnia) femgenficathon and then it's back to AW. YIKES. So thanks for reading and your patience and welcome aboard. The Narnia Fic Exchange is WONDERFUL.

I consulted NFFR for some good fics, and I was pointed in your direction! I'm steadily working my way through your stuff -- I plan on reading Harold&Morgan soon (provided I find the motivation to finish my actual work!).

I do have to say, I definitely appreciate the different paces in your respective Stone Gryphon stories. And seeing as The Horse and His Boy is my favorite Lewis book, I love the explanation you provide for Susan's behavior. Actually, I just love your Susan (...and Tebbitt >>).

Question: Are you leading the Pevensies up to their respective fates from the Last Battle?

HA! NFFR comes through again! It's funny how many people look to that. H&M follows after By Royal Decree. The Palace Guard sort of ties all the Guard business together and there's a lot of worldbuilding in there.

One of the stories on the To Do list is a retelling of HHB, with the Trickster (I've got little bits of it in my LJ). I've got other things to do first, and I've been a bit hmmmm about it because others have done that so many times. But, I'm playing with Aravis and Hwin right now for femgen ficathon, so...

One story that has been on my to do list for a long time will be going up in less than 2 weeks. And, well, that's a BIG deal.

As for leading up to TLB, yes, that's always been the plan. While some might dispute whether I'm canon compliant, I've tried to be, and that means everybody dies around 1949 and the need to explain the split between Susan and everyone else. But, I have a really, REALLY strong urge to go AU and have everyone live or at least live longer than 1949 because having taken them so far, and having built up the point that what they were and are is important, it's very nihilistic to have everyone die. And, you know, wasted effort much? I would love to take it forward. I'm not sure I have the storytelling ability to do it.

so, that's the plan. Thanks so much!

Csn you post chapter 10 soon? Pleeeaaaase?

I'm sorry! I know it's been forever and it really means the world to me that people still drop by and let me know they've discovered a story! I've been updating Harold and Morgan and then have written two things for the Narnia Fic Exchanges, so I have been writing, just not AW! Soon! Probably September or October, unless I go back to H&M.

I may have mentioned I was on a big reread.

I hit this chapter yesterday and was struck by how sad Richard's illness is -- I've dealt recently with the aging of family and friends and thought a lot about modern medicine keeping people alive beyond enjoyment, sometimes beyond their knowledge of being in the world. I'd want to be the person who wandered out into the desert and didn't come back (very Great Cat of me). But now taking into account that Mary effectively refused him a divorce and kept him in England, when he had a whole family with Wangari he would never see again --- of course it shows Mary's youth, but it also shows that English colonial mentality, and I wonder if you intended that. How complicated.

I've also forgot in the years since I read this first where it was going from here and where it does go, so apologies if I'm off base. Also, if commenting on a 7 year old entry is just too weird. I just can't express how well I love TSG.

Welp,given how long it's been since I updated, a comment 7 years later is an honor. I STILL owe review responses and things -- just finished my Narnia Fic Exchange, on top of posting Star Husband and a remix, which is more fic writing than I've done in a long, long time. Exercising rusty muscles hurts. I hope I'll find the flow and joy of writing 10K a week again -- though when I was at that pace RL work was not nearly so punishing. But, anyway,

First, I'm sorry. Aging parents and friends is very difficult, it often falls on the daughters, mothers and wives who are often in very demanding parts of their lives trying to build and manage their own careers and lives and possibly taking care of young children as well. It's brutal. During the time I wrote this, I was also dealing with the loss of parents -- my mother, aunt, uncle, colleague, and spouses or long-time companions by peers. Richard's particular illness is Dementia with Lewey Bodies -- what Robin Williams had. It's terrible. It killed my father in law. So I pose, very deliberately, the questions you ask, about the limits of care, whether someone should be able to walk in the desert when she chooses, etc. Even Polly can't go that far with Richard, but it's a valid, serious point. (A related point I hadn't gotten to yet was ultimately what Mary would do as the young wife of an invalid who no longer recognizes her -- would she, even while Richard was alive, take up some of her life again, specifically, take a lover or lovers her own age? Richard had wanted her to and specifically says so. In my original draft she does, with the other characters very divided on it. I really don't like infidelity so it was a challenge for me to consider this. OTOH, in the bits of later TSG AU, Mary doesn't pick up romantic relationships until several years after Richard's death. Does that make sense? I've still not decided. Again, I've known women with dying spouses who have taken both approaches. Where is Mary on that continuum? )
Anyway, back to the point at hand...

In TSG part 1, both Polly and Richard observe Mary's naivete -- the hope and assumption that people live forever, that there will always be a fix and an answer. It is the fault of youth, in part. Mary had some significant growing up to do and this was a ghastly way to do it. To her credit, as Star Husband shows, she has learned and taken concrete steps to remedy her behavior, including acknowledging with genuine remorse what she did.

Did I intend it to show colonial mentality? Especially since Mary more traditionally aligns with a more anti-colonial view, that "they" have the "right to pursue their own culture and practice their own rituals without white, European condemnation." (from ch. 3 of part 1).

It was not, in this, intentional. I was driven more by Mary's youth and clinging to Richard to be hers, especially since Richard has always been so free in sharing himself with others and not with her. It's a bit of equalizing payback.

BUT, and this observation is one I've only come to after 7 years, so my deepest thanks for prompting it, this unquestionably does come from Mary's sense of entitlement, which is profound. I don't think she holds with racist superiority consciously. But she believes she is entitled to reorder things for her pleasure, that things should bend to her, including other people AND (and this is important) other WOC, including Richard's own wife.

And so, with this observation, and the clarity of more years and age, I see something I wrote in Mary that is very relevant today -- the concept of a white woman's privilege. She is "woke" -- she is liberal, she is an ally. But she is also ripe for being called out. Is this privilege a byproduct of colonialism? There's probably reams of feminist intersectional literature on that point that I've not read but I suspect the answer is that they are not unrelated.

Thank you, Pru.

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Chapter 9, School Daze and other ramblings on the 2 year anniversary

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from Krystyna

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Just Wonderful

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Hi! *waves*

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Hi! waves

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