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rthstewart) wrote2009-07-26 09:40 pm
Chapter 3
Well, chapter 3 went up, and it’s really, really long. And complicated at a thematic level, and well oh my god, plot. Yes, there’s actually quite a bit of plot stuck in there, amidst all the angst.
A huge thanks to the incomparable Doewe who did the German translation as Edmund struggles through “Learn German in 30 Days,” self taught, with no Rosetta Stone tapes. He proceeds to cheerfully massacre the language as Harold and Alberta massacre vegetables.
As I was writing it, with Edmund explaining to Peter about his meeting with Asim, I thought, you know, I can’t describe this scene off screen here. One of the most common comments I got was that readers (my few, my loyal, I love all 10 of them) really wanted this interaction. I was going to do the scene, just not here. But, if Peter was going to hear about it, then we needed the scene, and so this was the result. Otherwise it was a lot of telling and no showing.
So, there it is, with Edmund coming out a shade darker than usual. I’d really wanted to use the “Peter, do you want the truth or the lie?” I know where I’m going to use it again, and I thought, with all these shifting tales and lies, and deceptions, I could put it here, for both of them. I’d originally heard the “Lie to me” in the wonderful BTVS series, episode of the same name. Edmund has been living, through Susan’s letters, some pretty wild cloak and dagger stuff, he’s just been taken to the woodshed, gently, by a Major in the British Army and he’s feeling a bit paranoid at the moment, which in this universe is a natural state for him anyway.
For the next chapter, I was trying to decide whether to write it first as Queen Susan arriving in Tashbann, or Susan Pevensie arriving in DC. I’ve already written the end of the chapter, which is Susan Pevensie, and was thinking today that I would do it as Queen Susan, then switch to Susan Pevensie, to conclude. I think that makes the most sense, but I need to decide and then just stick with it.
By the way:
Lone Islands = North Africa
Archenland = Canada
Galma = Russia
Northern Marshes = Europe, France specifically
Ettinsmoor = Nazis
I think I’m outted to some people, which is depressing me no end, and I’ve been thinking of packing my bags and shutting down for a bit. But, I want to get this chapter and the next one, and then do another chapter of Palace Guard with the Cheetahs. Oh well. It’s my own fault for dabbling in fandom again. Once I start reading fan fic again, I can't stay away from the writing. Oh well. I need to think about this and what I'm going to do about it when I'm not depressed about the Torchwood ending.
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As for Torchwood..... Yeah. Talk about a sucker punch when we were already down on the ground from the end of Season 2, eh? Channel that angst! I bet you could write some awesome Torchwood fic! O:-).
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As for Torchwood, yeah, I've heard that the BBC has picked it up for a fourth season. Not really sure where they plan on taking it though, seeing as 3/5 of the team is now dead and all.
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I only found Edmund a shade darker during his discussion with Peter. His meeting with Asim though seemed to be typical (King) Edmund. As for "Lie to Me" -- that's one of the few episodes I actually remember from "Buffy". The most memorable scene from that was the ending when Buffy asked Giles to lie to her.
And thanks for posting up the reader's guide to Susan's letter. I was going to ask about that, but figured you would probably tell us in the next chapter anyway.
As for being outted... I am sorry to hear that. Though I have to thank you for continuing on (at this point) anyway since your writing is one of the best I've come across in this fandom.
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In any event, I'm glad you thought Edmund wasn't that much darker. I thought I'd made him a tad too sophisticated in the pub, but I figured that in fact the two of them were, in a way, already acquainted. Asim knows all about Edmund through Peter and has everything he already has discerned about Peter, which at this point, is quite a lot. Edmund has been hearing about it all through Peter's letters. So, thought they have never met, they know quite a bit about one another, aside from the fact that Edmund is glowing "like a bloody torch."
I'll have to post a more complete Guide as I begin to fill it in, names as well as places. I may have to do it as a chapter insert. I think the Amabassador to the US, Lord Halifax, is going to be a penguin -- my son's idea.
This chapter was a bear for me, and I was tweaking it right up until I posted it. My favorite chapters tend to be the ones I just posted, but I did like this one, and I'm glad you did too. There is A LOT going on, in terms of plot, character, and thematic elements.
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- Eustace throwing out the mushy vegetables his mother made. While I applaud it, a bit of me thought that with war time rationing, perhaps they should have saved it after all. Unless it really tasted that bad. :-)
- Eustace's joke about being ordered around... does he see also Edmund as his King? Of course, we know that Eustace (like Polly and Digory) sees Peter as High King and in some ways, defers to his eldest cousin as such.
- Asim's dream about Edmund with the men, the knives, the gold, the rat and the crow. For some reason, I actually had a picture from Pauline Baynes' illustration in my head when I read this. Specifically, the one where the Lone Island pirates were sitting by a tree when Caspian and the others came upon them on Felimath.
And when the scene shifted to the men with dark robes and heavy chains -- would they be Calormenes, or is this clearly my very active imagination?
- Between the advice Asim gave Edmund, and what Edmund tells Peter about why Asim didn't tell Peter the truth about their meeting... I think it would be interesting if Edmund's purpose in this world was (like Susan) to spy for the greater good. He would be very good at it, you know. I loved that line where Ed acknowledges that spies live by a different set of code and conduct, and that he himself is one of them.
- A penguin ambassador! How fun! Am trying to picture Penguins in Narnia but am having a bit of a time doing so since I associate them with snow and ice all the time.
Having just read your review reply...
- If you ever do write about the agreeable and necessary company of woman, I think an excellent start would be Peter trying to have that conversation with Eustace. Or maybe Edmund should start off, and have Peter butt in when he realizes what topic his brother and cousin are sharing.
- And I agree with you that it will be easier to tell Susan's story from prose rather through letters. It will make more sense to the reader to see it from her point of view instead of through either Edmund or Peter's eyes.
And one slightly off-topic question, if you don't mind indulging me (otherwise, please feel free to ignore it): What other fandoms have you been involved with in the past? With your reference to BtVS, I would suspect you had written stories for that series at some point? That was my first fandom ever, and I admit to cringing when I read some of the stuff I wrote for it back then.
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As is not uncommon, my readers who are smarter than I am pick up things I didn't. I hadn't thought of the slavers on Felmiath at all. I'd assumed it was some sort of rading party or pirates headed toward Narnia. The money men I did intend to be Lone Island bankers, but they could easily be Calormene as well.
I'm glad you picked up the code of spies point and that Edmund already identifies himself as one of them. Only Doewe so far has also noted that point. I've been thinking about spies a lot, of course, as I move into this and that facile ability to lie is rather key.
I figured that the carrots and potatoes are from the Scrubbs' own garden. And cold, boiled vegetables are the worst. But yes, it is wasteful. Maybe Edmund should turn it on to a plate with a note thanking Harold and Alberta and that they saved some for the aunt and uncle's breakfast?
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That said, KEEP WRITING, I swear I will get to it. And keep meta-ing too; I find that stuff fascinating, especially in light of not being able to bloody write lately.
If you feel the need to take a break, or quit entirely, because of your outing, I will understand. I also hope that you don't do it, because your worldview is so very very good for this fandom. You're cracking open horizons and adding so much to the mix, we need it!
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I wondered, though (on a much lighter, though related, note) if you had seen the oh-so-amusing video that posits what would happen if Edward had chosen to stalk Buffy instead of Bella. It is . . . well, it is alarmingly brilliant.
Enjoy!