rthstewart | Chapter 18, Moles in the Garden, Part 2

Chapter 18 went up this evening, Moles in the Garden, Part 2.

I killed Guy. I've actually killed off a number of OCs, but this is the first onscreen one. Susan's entreaty to Guy that he tell Lambert that she IS coming, that she will see him again, is one of the oldest parts of this story. So too was Tebbitt's gentle handling of Susan as she rinses away Guy's blood and begins to confuse Narnia and Spare Oom. The lament and farewell were recent editions, with Edmund's lament for the Traitor something that came into being this week.

A word about Edmund. I have emphasized his Rat and Crow interest. Further, he has been involved in the more "transactional" and "written" part of the whole Just thing -- treaties, laws, amendments, and so forth. This is a significant part of what legal types do. They do not all go to court and argue things as trial lawyers and barristers. We have not yet seen this part of Edmund in my stories -- his province as adjudicator of the accused. It's coming and here we see that just because I've not written it yet, doesn't mean it's not there and important.

Fleming, by the way, is Ian Fleming, who was part of the BSC and did have some really stupid ideas about crashing planes into the Channel in order to steal Enigma machines off of U-boats. Fleming was originally going to be the one to figure out the Rat and Crow in Susan's last letter to Edmund. I decided relatively recently to have the Colonel be the one who decides to take a look a her letter. Tebbitt's disclosure of her odd rambling and insistence of writing to Edmund was also a relatively recent addition.

Oh, and Gillian? Your review has created a Thing, now known as "mystically delicious." It involves chocolate You will notice the new icon in

metonomia 's Live Journal.

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Songsmith and I are flipping out together in chat, and we were just discussing the bit about Susan's promise to Lambert.

I love it so so much because it's a promise not only to her Guard but to the reader - Susan will NOT forsake Narnia, because she has made this promise.

So gorgeous. Off to be incoherent and cry some more. GUY!!!

(Oh, and Edmund thinks Asim's mystically delicious, too.)

As I said, Susan's promise is the assurance to everyone. Even when her heart is pierced by three swords, even in the bitterness that is to come, that promise to Lambert holds and sustains her. When I wrote the Christmas story, I knew this was where their promise to one another would come, with her exhortation to Guy as he died.

And I'm not going there with Edmund. No Way.

You might have warned me before you went to bed that this was a multi-tissue chapter. As for the lament, I've been reduced to just saying "oh. my. god." repeatedly.

Uhhhh, sorry?

I'll forgive you. And apologize in turn because it's going to be a bit before I can gather my thoughts enough to review properly.

Omg, talk about an emotional whammy! Had to mop away a tear or two here. This is an amazing chapter. The lament sequence is really fitting - interesting that some bits are really old and some are really new, yet they all gel beautifully. So Tebbitt has heard, but not really understood - I was wondering at first whether he might put some things together, but on reflection, I'm not sure that he can suspend disbelief and untether himself enough from the mundane and everyday. Can't help but wonder how he'll react when (if) Susan decides to spill the beans.

Cheers
: )

Thanks, Min. Tebbitt isn't dying here, obviously, and the end is near. So, if he figures things out, it won't be here. His perspective is different as he as always seen her as an adult and his understanding of the "mystery" has been more, frankly, sexually based. There is nothing remotely schoolgirl in her actions to and around him and he has responded as such. Unlike others (Richard, Asim, the Colonel, even Mary) Tebbitt has never knoewn Susan is anything but a 20+ year old woman and all the experiences do is reinforce that impression. I had tried to work in more confusion where he is telling mom about how Susan was talking about their Cook and dog and mom is all, 'what cook, what dog?' But, what made it into the chapter is enough.

That would explain the tweets

I absolutely loved this chapter. Guy's death made me sniffle a bit, as did the lament, but I really loved Edmund's conversation with Peter about Asim.

Thank you! It's nice to know you are still reading! Edmund and Peter's conversation, with Edmund's point of view, is one of those things that exists solely in fan fiction. In original fic, it would never survive an editor. But this is why people read fan fic, for this lingering look at characters and their interactions with one another. Thank you again.

Guy! Having just finished reading this chapter I am still mourning his loss. How will Agnes react?? I know that Tebbitt and the Colonel will be informing Guy's family but in a way, I wish that Susan would be there too. She connected with Guy in a way that Agnes (and not Tebbitt nor the Colonel) can understand.

Peter and Edmund's conversation was LOVE. It made the contents of Susan's letter even more solemn.

And as for Fleming, did I not read that he was a Naval Commander, and not a Lieutenant? (I returned the book to the library already so I can't confirm.) Regardless, I loved how you included him in all of this.

Thanks. As I said above, the conversation between Edmund and Peter is one of those things that never would have survived an editor of original fic, but this is why people read fan fic. The next chapter will include Guy's funeral, so, there will be some Agnes interaction there. She doesn't read family, you know.

As for Fleming's rank, when I researched it (again) last night, it had him starting out at the Lt. rank and moving up to Commander, so I decided to start him more junior. He may be Lt Cmdr at this point, or full Cmdr, but I wasn't sure and just started him more junior. There's that hilarious picture of him by the fireplace in The Irregulars book looking like quite the naval officer.

I could never ever be an editor if that's the case then. :-) I think I'm glad that Agnes never reads family; it would be sad to know of a prediction in which someone close to you dies in such a horrible manner.

As for "The Irregulars", the photos were fascinating! I admit that men in uniform are certainly quite dashing. Longlea wasn't quite what I expected, and it was nice to put faces next to the names. Oddly, I did like the candid photo of Dahl with Hemingway -- Dahl looked rather handsome in that picture to me.

I liked that one too. If I could draw people better, I would like to use that shot as a reference for a picture of Peter -- Dahl has about the build I picture an older English Peter having, even if they look nothing alike otherwise.

I noticed that Tebbitt thinks that Susan seems so small without her usual clothing and makeup. She probably looks fifteen, although he doesn't realize that she does ...

I've given my other comments in my review ... my comments so far, that is. Let me just repeat that I really love this chapter!

I noticed that Tebbitt thinks that Susan seems so small without her usual clothing and makeup. She probably looks fifteen, although he doesn't realize that she does ...

Yes, that's it exactly. It was hard too because given the attraction that also exists in the relationship, and the "pax" they reached, I wanted to keep the support and equilibrium they are both working to maintain. As I posted above, Tebbitt reacts to and treats Susan as an adult woman because that's how she reacts to and treats him. Her small, young frame is dissonant because it does not connect with what he knows of (and has personally experienced with) the woman. I also wanted to convey the idea that as young as she is, and as seemingly fragile at this moment, that there is real strength to her. Lambert observes in Palace Guard that Susan is gentle as tides and tree roots.

This is also the era of substantial women's undergarments giving truly impressive shapes. I figure a young girl could add significant padding to her shape and be very consistent with the fashion.

Chapter 18, Moles in the Garden, Part 2

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