rthstewart (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rthstewart) wrote2018-09-20 08:05 pm
rthstewart) wrote2018-09-20 08:05 pm
comfort food
So, today, I was at a meeting all day long and the subjects were very intense, emotions were high, and words like, "well, it's a problem with tone" came up a lot. It was partially addressed at me, partly at my client, and we had to sit and politely take it because well, we do. (Not sexism, by the way, or misogyny, just beastly internal politics). The words no good deed goes unpunished came up a lot. yeah. You tried but everyone thinks you fucked it up so we're taking it away and giving it all to someone else.
AND THEN there was a whole other separate thing going on at the same time with a very expensive super smart Batman who had been brought in to save the day about a Thing. BUT BUT I had to handle the Thing by myself for months before Batman arrived, and I've been worried I might have done something wrong and Batman would have to clean up my mess and that I might really have caused injury to others. I don't *think* it was quite that bad, but I'm not sure and that worst nightmare unfolded today too.
Also, I really really wanted to get a piece of business but I lost it to a man who was also at the meeting today. Except, the man is nice and smart and extremely competent and thinks the world of my skills and seriously how can you get mad when someone decides to hire Captain America instead of you? So, you can't get mad, just super disappointed that if it had been any other Avenger except for Steve, you could have kicked their ass and won the business. Instead you just have to swallow the disappointment and say "So glad it went to you."
Anyway, very uncomfortable day where at various points I just wanted to go into the bathroom and have a good cry and one time I actually did a little bit.
So, I ate a whole chicken salad sandwich from the lunch buffet and a peanut butter cookie. And I had Ghiradelli dark chocolate salted caramel square for dinner and large slices of watermelon. If I'd had access to honest to goodness Minnesota Chicken and Wild Rice soup, I would eaten that. So what about you? When you have a super stressful day that makes you want to cry in the bathroom, do you have any comfort foods?
AND THEN there was a whole other separate thing going on at the same time with a very expensive super smart Batman who had been brought in to save the day about a Thing. BUT BUT I had to handle the Thing by myself for months before Batman arrived, and I've been worried I might have done something wrong and Batman would have to clean up my mess and that I might really have caused injury to others. I don't *think* it was quite that bad, but I'm not sure and that worst nightmare unfolded today too.
Also, I really really wanted to get a piece of business but I lost it to a man who was also at the meeting today. Except, the man is nice and smart and extremely competent and thinks the world of my skills and seriously how can you get mad when someone decides to hire Captain America instead of you? So, you can't get mad, just super disappointed that if it had been any other Avenger except for Steve, you could have kicked their ass and won the business. Instead you just have to swallow the disappointment and say "So glad it went to you."
Anyway, very uncomfortable day where at various points I just wanted to go into the bathroom and have a good cry and one time I actually did a little bit.
So, I ate a whole chicken salad sandwich from the lunch buffet and a peanut butter cookie. And I had Ghiradelli dark chocolate salted caramel square for dinner and large slices of watermelon. If I'd had access to honest to goodness Minnesota Chicken and Wild Rice soup, I would eaten that. So what about you? When you have a super stressful day that makes you want to cry in the bathroom, do you have any comfort foods?
no subject
Our cafeteria is dismal, so nothing there suits, and the desk snacks I bring in are all non-comforting boring things like goldfish or peanut butter crackers.
In our last building, we used to frequently walk out to the Walgreens on the corner for snacks, which was great, but now we are next to CVS which somehow I never make it to, and when I do, I don't find anything that helps. I've also realized that Part of Getting Older for me involves not being able to eat hits of sugar, like, a handful of jellybeans, without getting nausea. Sad, but probably better in long run.
no subject
I suppose I've begun crawling out of my funk, yesterday's horrors notwithstanding? Not sure and writing is much more difficult than it was, both because capturing a hopeful spirit is hard and because I'm so damned busy. But I'm trying harder than I was. Anyway, it is lovely to renew the online acquaintance and thank you.
no subject
Is that the reason? I had no idea. I just want pringles, darnit.
And you are very welcome. Your writing is so lovely.