On the ends / means spectrum, I don't imagine any of us are completely innocent, particularly once parenting begins. In fact, the only place where I know I am allowing the means to determine the ends is in my academic progress. As in, if I study exactly what interests me, some day I will end up doing work that interests me and for which I am extremely well-qualified. It's working, for the most part.

But, all to say, the fine line of free choice and predestination, oooohhhh, scary. I can't navigate that very well, myself, so it becomes more a question of ethics for me than theology.

Must go - will reply more later.