rthstewart: (Default)
rthstewart ([personal profile] rthstewart) wrote2011-02-11 01:19 am

Chapter 7, the Queen Susan in Liverpool (and Finchley)


So, Chapter 7 is up.  It's been a really rotten week, with Friday most definitely of the not fun variety for me especially.  So, here's a bit of very, very long distraction.  I have gone back and forth on whether to include the first of four encounters Susan has in Finchley.  I decided that as the chapter is entitled Queen Susan, I should just ignore the fact that the chapter clocks in at 11,000 words and include the first one so you actually have some Susan rather than just Peter.  The next one is very nearly done though based upon a review of my prior journal entries tagged "Going There" which I undertook in light of some recent yukiness, I'm going to expand it a bit.  (Hopefully without polemic, but I'm in an expansive mood at the moment). 

In any event, moving on, as you can see, I waded deep into racial territory and my thanks to those who aided in the research including Clio and [livejournal.com profile] autumnia  .  [livejournal.com profile] snacky  had the excellent suggestion of contacting a Liverpool library, and I shall do that when I get deeper into the story.  For now, sources include:

The Lascars --  sailors from the Indian subcontinent who sailed on European ships
Including, History of the Lascars
The Merchant Seaman's War -- Sons of Empire  28,000 Merchant seaman died during World War 2. The book notes that Europeans were “capable only of seeing Indians, Chinese, Africans and Arabs through the bizarre lens of racial cliché.”

The Chinese community of Liverpool comes from this site among others.  There is a lot more to go there and I'm still looking for this book and will probably have to order it from the UK.

As for Liverpool generally, I spent time at the city's Museum websites and various other sites about the Durning Road disaster including here and here and here

Here are some fabulous pictures of Liverpool bicyclists, including members of the Home Guard mentioned in the story.



Last, you may blame [livejournal.com profile] anastigmatfic  and [livejournal.com profile] snacky for the insertion of a 2 year old John Lennon into the story whose absent father was, in fact, a Merchant Marine.  Really.

I've tried really, really hard to get these racial issues right, early on, because I'm going somewhere with it.  I'm very cognizant of race fail in fandom.  If you think I've gotten it wrong, please speak up, and we'll see what might be done. 

In the next chapter, I'll go into the Caxton Hall rally and the issues of continuing apathy regarding awareness of the plight of Jews in occupied Europe.  My source is British Jewry and the Holocaust.  And huge thanks to [livejournal.com profile] autumnia  for the assistance there.

Also, again, a big thanks to the anonymous and unsigned reviewers.  I really appreciate you weighing in.  Thanks to everyone.  The story broke 200 reviews this week and I'm very grateful.
the_rck: (Default)

[personal profile] the_rck 2011-02-11 01:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Hurray! This really brightened my morning.

I like Mrs. Pevensie a lot.

Thanks for writing!
ext_418583: (Default)

[identity profile] rthstewart.livejournal.com 2011-02-12 04:19 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much! I had not thought that Mrs. Pevensie would be enough to carry the chapter. I was obviously wrong about that based on reader reaction (again).

Thank you!
ext_80109: (Narnia: group: now a big hug!)

[identity profile] be-themoon.livejournal.com 2011-02-11 02:31 pm (UTC)(link)
<333 I'm so sorry people have been being nasty about your writing, that's very rude of them (and it sounds like they have utterly ridiculous grounds to be annoyed on, too). I know I'm awful about reading and reviewing your stuff, but what I have read of it is really well done. It's also mature, and if they can't handle that - too bad for them. They're the ones losing out.

Also, the amount of research you do never fails to amaze me and make me want to applaud a lot.
ext_418583: (Default)

[identity profile] rthstewart.livejournal.com 2011-02-12 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
Meh. I'm OK with the challenges and such. There was a new aspect to one that bothered me quite a bit and they came from two separate sources in a short period of time. In any event, I want to thank you so very very much for taking the time to read and to review. It really means a lot to me and I really appreciate it.
autumnia: Kings and Queen, 1942 (Pevensies (England))

[personal profile] autumnia 2011-02-11 04:31 pm (UTC)(link)
From my inbox:

Chapter 7 Title: Chapter 7 The Queen Susan in Liverpool
Words: 11,082

What happened to this being approximately 7,000 words? :-) Not that I'm ungrateful, mind you... far from it!

And oh, my love for Mrs Pevensie grew with this chapter. I may even forgive her for revealing the truth to Tebbitt.

So sorry to hear you've had a rough week, rth. I hope the many wonderful reviews there are (and will be) will help cheer you up!
ext_418583: (Default)

[identity profile] rthstewart.livejournal.com 2011-02-12 04:38 am (UTC)(link)
Errr, right. What happened is that I assumed with the word count that people wouldn't be that interested in the Mrs. Pevensie part at 7,000 words and would be irritated if I didn't include some Susan -- an additional 4,000. So, I decided to add the Susan and Lucy scene. yeah, really, once again I manage to incredibly misjudge reader reaction. I am SO AWFUL at judging these things, it's appalling!!

And yeah, it's been a tough week with today being the topper. Thanks so much for all the support! And for all the help!
ext_33795: (Default)

[identity profile] katharhino.livejournal.com 2011-02-11 05:50 pm (UTC)(link)
I really liked this line: Had this variety always been in England and he had never noticed it before? The Pevensies tend to focus on the negatives of being adults in children's bodies, understandably. But there are definite positives. I mean, it occurred to me today while reading that I'd actually like the chance to relive my college days Now With 85% Less Stupidity.

My favorite parts of your stories are interactions between the Pevensies, too, and this chapter was ALL that, almost, so yay. From the hilarious and believable bickering, to the touching moments with Mrs. Pevensie (new, obviously, to this story but still counts as an inter-Pevensie conversation). I also liked Peter's reflecting back on how much he is and isn't revealing. One of the things I thought was a slight plot hole... or, not really hole but thin place, reading almost all of TSG in one sitting, was that they aren't more careful about appearing so adult. But I suppose they can't help it. Anyway, considering that secrecy and spying is a theme, I thought it appropriate that Peter would think about that.

My apologies for nearly disappearing after my last conversation with you... my semester of teaching started and then a number of things happened in my personal offline life, one after the other!

Can't wait for the next chapter and more Susan conversations. She's becoming one of my favorites.
ext_418583: (Default)

[identity profile] rthstewart.livejournal.com 2011-02-12 04:55 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks so much for weighing in!! Your point about Now With 85% less stupidity is well taken. I've been as eager as the characters to get them a bit older so that they could DO more.

I'm glad you liked the interactions here. I added the Susan/Lucy part because I did not think readers would be that interested in my exploration through Mrs. Pevensie of parenting and marital difficulties. But, once again, I'm wrong in what readers like.

What is important is coming to see the good things here -- the interesting people and varied cultures, the conversations and adventures, the Boom De yada of this world. So it is not so much solely the idea of being an adult that is desirable as it is the ability to see good here as well. Or that's the plan, anyway.

I see your point about the "hiding" of the adulthood. Yep, it probably is a plot thinness -- I think I'm probably as tired as the characters are of writing them, or trying to write them, as young. In fact, I've gotten some negative feedback when I've done so. I'll keep that in mind. Thank you so very, very much for weighing in and reading. I hugely appreciate it and I hope that RL treats you better!
cofax7: climbing on an abbey wall  (Default)

[personal profile] cofax7 2011-02-11 06:03 pm (UTC)(link)
I enjoyed that, and I'm intrigued by your handling of Mrs. Pevensie, because fandom tends to just ignore parents, so this is a promising and creative change.

Baby John Lennon! Cute!
ext_418583: (Default)

[identity profile] rthstewart.livejournal.com 2011-02-12 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I had assumed people would be bored by Mrs. Pevensie! Wrong again! Oh self.

[identity profile] min023.livejournal.com 2011-02-11 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)
I think that I've observed previously that I don't have quite the same 'racial' take that you do, probably due to our different cultural contexts. So I didn't really feel like duck boots had been applied at all. Yes, I suppose that you could argue that there was racial stereotyping or slurring going on, but really? This is a period piece, it was all in context, and we all know just how much research you put in to make your writing contextually accurate. To be honest, I didn't really register that there could be a problem until I read your AN and LJs. Maybe that means that I'm blindly oblivious (and yes, sometimes I am), but what that really says to me is that there was nothing there so contextually jarring as to throw me out of the story.

Initially, I was like... What? Why wouldn't Kwong Lee know Peter? But then it clicked that they hadn't met, that Peter had never been to the Russell house, so that was well played. Be interesting to see whether any of the Russell Hall denizens have any new insights on the Pevensies to share with Asim.

I missed the beatle allusion at first, but now it's explained, that's very cute.

[identity profile] min023.livejournal.com 2011-02-12 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, and one other point which I meant to put in my review (and all of today's other LJ postings). I know I've asked about this before, but I've lost my sense of your timelines again. I know you've compacted some things up (like the VoDT and TSC visits). I'm now struggling in finding context for the conversation between Peter and Mrs P. She's obviously been noticing "Things" for a while, and been keeping her mouth shut, but I can't quite work out how long a time this is.

The discussion with Peter has the feel of a fairly well entrenched mindset, so now I'm curious about how long it's been since their return from Narnia (canon would say about 3 years, I think), how long since they returned home from the Professor's country home, and what length of time it was before everyone got packed off again, as per VoDT.
ext_418583: (Default)

[identity profile] rthstewart.livejournal.com 2011-02-12 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
Uhhmmmm kinda spacing and tired here after really stressful day and late night (I really was on the treadmill at midnight) and I never sleep well after I post. In any event, the time is that is the last week in August 1942. Sept. 2 is a Wednesday and that's when Lucy and Polly go to Caxton Hall. I think they leave for school thereafter. So, there have been at least 2 years where she's observed the changes, most notably when they came back from the Professor's after the blitz (which the timeline says was 1940). I'm not sure how long that was, but I assume there was at least one summer and Christmas holiday. Sometime after they went back to school, Mrs. Pevensie went to speak to the Professor and Polly. I think she gave it a few months and compared her children to the others also evacuated and comes away thinking WHAT? Huh? And of course, with John Pevensie away, for months and years, he sees none of this at all.

Thanks again!!
ext_418583: (Default)

[identity profile] rthstewart.livejournal.com 2011-02-12 04:59 am (UTC)(link)
My concerns about depicting race are very much driven by how fandom itself treats those who get it wrong. I have been really concerned that I'd end up cross posted somewhere with Oh No They Didn't or Race!Fail tag.

And really, I would have never thought to include the beetle, but once Anastigmat mentioned, it, I realized it was an easy insert give what all has gone on before.

Thank you so very, very much!

Syrena lets her inner novelist write comments

(Anonymous) 2011-02-12 12:46 pm (UTC)(link)
First, congratulations on another fabulous chapter! I'm afraid my comment will soon approach whatever word limit LJ imposes, but hopefully you'll bear with me and read the whole thing :-)

To start off, as someone who currently teaches small children, your first quote had me in stitches for a solid five minutes! Where do you find these quotes? They are always so appropriate, so fitted to your work as if you wrote them yourself.

A quick few nods to details in the actual chapter that I can't resist commenting upon:

"monochromatic pale skin and gray sky" is sheer brilliance. I have spent the past 3 years living in Spain--an occidental country which is not so drastically different from home, but every time I do go back to the US, for the first few days all I can see is round, doughy faces, bleach blonde hair (as if I weren't blonde myself), impossibly light eyes, and a very Midwestern sameness. It has occured to me before that part of what you write about is essentially culture shock, but not the culture shock of visiting Tashbaan for the first time, which is expected. It's foreign, it will be different. Anyone with half a brain in their heads should anticipate that. No, this is the traitorous sting of going home and finding that it no longer fits. That you no longer fit. That even the colors are not what you remembered, that it is somehow smaller, somehow less, somehow vaguely alien to what you have become Elsewhere. They call it 'reverse culture shock'. Discovering that what should have been home, what should fit like a glove, now pulls uncomfortably at your skin. That the face in the mirror gazes back with eyes that don't fit your own mental reflection. If the Pevensies (as one reviewer pointed out) don't make as much as an effort to act like the children they once were, perhaps it is not from stubbornness or obliviousness but from a different kind of forgetfulness: those old days of being just English schoolchildren are so far off that it's hard even to remember what they were back then and how they acted. Dissimulating works to some extent, but trying to be those children again would almost be a betrayal of everything they have lived in the meantime. And mere acting would seem stilted; they have grown up, and what adult really understands children? (Well, maybe Lucy, because she's just awesome like that!) I could go on, but will finally exercise some restraint!

On a related note, your Mrs. Pevensie (I also like the nod to Helen, but think it will work perfectly well with her surname... at least until Mr. Pevensie comes home!) is wonderful. The sorrowful acceptance of unexplainedly (is that a word? I think I'm losing my English) missing a large part of her children's lives, and feeling the need to ask permission to be let back in... the whole conversation was perfect.

And speaking of perfection, the beauty spell! You've given it so much more depth by relating it to the Lone Islands incident. Actually, the insight that touched me more wasn't regarding the slavers but rather what Susan said about Lucy being a woman, in Narnia, but regarded only as a girl. The context with the slavers is more practical, a more solid reason, perhaps. But the one that would affect me more if I were in their shoes would be the one that had been building up inside Lucy (and, really, both Queens) ever since their return: a woman stuffed in a girl's body. They've dealt with it remarkably well, but who could blame poor Lucy for feeling helplessly frustrated upon returning to her own land where she is Queen, but *still* only a little girl? She's coped with that in England, but that must burn more than ever back in Narnia.

And my comment is indeed too long to post. Splitting in half...

Re: Syrena lets her inner novelist write comments

(Anonymous) 2011-02-12 12:46 pm (UTC)(link)
One of the things I love most about your stories is that, like with the beauty spell, they help me understand and appreciate the books better. (Not to mention the historical period--I am always overwhelmed by your research and wish I had that same dedication regarding my own projects!) I was particularly struck by your comment about writing Pevensies you would be proud to have your children emulate. It made me realize one of the reasons I love your Pevensies so much: each one, or parts of each all cobbled together, are the kind of person I want to be. Your heroes are real people, with flaws, but very Good with a capital G, and I deeply admire them. And you for being perceptive and insightful enough to write them!

I think I've come to the end of my ramblings, but have one last comment that I've hesitated to make for some time but feel the need to throw out there. The one thing that bothers me when I read your posts is your reaction when some narrowminded or callow individual comes along and disparages your work or your vision. I fully understand the desire to please readers-but I hope your inner Pevensies can vanquish that particular monster (maybe Eustace could whack at it with a certain second best sword). I don't like the idea of you trying to tailor your wondrous world to someone else's idea of what's right and proper. Whether that involves Edmund, Morgan, and honey or simply word count and more or less dialogue, I want to read *your* story, the way *you* conceived it. Feedback is all well and good, as is constructive (emphasis on the constructive!) criticism. But I hope you can find the balance of accepting the constructive bits while discarding what does not fit. You do not have to be a wardrobe holding all of your readers' expectations inside like Susan's selves! We are the ones entering your story, if I may be permitted to mangle the metaphor, and the choice is ours to embrace it or not, in all its different glory--which, after all, is what the Pevensies did in Narnia and are now relearning to do in England!

Thanks for bearing with me, and as always thank you for the pleasure of reading.
~Syrena
ext_418583: (Default)

Re: Syrena lets her inner novelist write comments

[identity profile] rthstewart.livejournal.com 2011-02-13 06:36 am (UTC)(link)
But I hope you can find the balance of accepting the constructive bits while discarding what does not fit.

Thank you for your thoughts and there's no reason to hesitate in sharing ideas. I've been taken to task over this from others and for some time. It's a thing and it's tiresome. I am a very poor judge of what readers will like -- this recent chapter showcased that again, actually.

Thanks you again! and thanks so much for reading and commenting!
ext_418583: (Default)

Re: Syrena lets her inner novelist write comments

[identity profile] rthstewart.livejournal.com 2011-02-12 07:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Welcome back and thank you! The whole first 2/3 of this chapter were done for a while and I cut and edited and massaged and thought, you know, people really aren't going to be that interested in this. Song_smith has just been beating me over the head about this, but there it is. Regardless. the reverse culture shock is exactly what is going on. Ultimately, it is not the Pevensies who will change, but that England will change around them. It will become the place it is today where chicken tikka masala is the favorite dish. The Empire Windrush will arrive in a few short years, the immigration and citizenship laws change and unlike the US, England never prohibited inter-racial marriage. Yes, there is prejudice there, and that colonial past is so wrong for so many reasons. But, there is also this amazing, wonderful side and the Pevensies are discovering that you do not have to go to or be Narnian to experience this.

As I'm working through Peter and Susan's discussions, the issue of beauty as a woman's weapon is coming up again -- in follow up to some of Susan's experiences in Washington. I had not thought of Lucy's dilemma in the way you pose it and it's very thoughtful and I thank you for it.