A few more thoughts, I guess

[rthstewart]

I always sleep very, very poorly when I post a chapter.  I go through these tremendous bouts of self doubt during the writing, the posting, and the review wherein I always discover the typos and things That Bother Me.  It does not really improve until I see some reviews, vain and foolish that I am.  I am an unbelievably poor judge of what resonates with readers.  I found Edmund's long discussion with Peter repetitive and dull, and, certain parts overwrought, certain transitions painful, etc. etc.  While I like the fact that it is lighter at night, I'll spend the next 3 weeks trying to recover my lost hour due to DST.  Plus, the laptop AC adapter died. 

But, amid everything, I did want to return to a few points.
First, based upon the timeline, you can see something that I mentioned in the last chapter.  In these days according to the timeline of August 3 (when Guy dies) and then August 21-23, Narnia is really pressing into Spare Oom.  Susan returns, in her shock and disorientation, to the habits and people of Narnia -- blood on her clothes was more common there than here, to be sure.  Then, Eustace, Lucy, and Edmund go to and return from Narnia, Peter comes to see them, Aslan visits Richard and Asim, and finally, Aslan observes his monarchs conducting the lament and farewell for Badon/Guy (a bit of world building there, where I borrowed prayers for the dead from a number of sources).

Second, I have been a bit cagey about what I intended to do with Susan's story because I knew this scene was coming with Guy dying where she reaffirms her promise to Lambert and he carries that promise to Aslan's Country.  I knew that when I was writing the end of the Palace Guard and it's one of the reasons why I did not end that story at the Lampost as I had intended.  I needed to tell Susan's story here, in TQSiT and in Part 3 to come.   Additionally, when I wrote the Christmas story with Susan and Lambert repeating their vow of fealty to one another every year, again, I knew that that vow would be one of the most important things that Susan took from Narnia.  With the pain and sundering to come, that vow really matters.

So, the stories are connected, as Narnia and and Spare Oom are connected in the vision.  Peter and Asim discuss Auchinleck's I'm not jealous of Rommel memo in Crossroads, Part 3, which Tebbitt and Fleming discuss here.  Edmund tells things to Susan in Chapter 8, Lions' Business that are very reminiscent of Tebbitt's It's not your fault statements here.  The spy suggested in The Palace Guard is a Mole here.  Tebbitt thinks on Bacchus and Silenus, whom Susan has met.  The silliness of the paint, poetry, shower and Tebbitt in the towel of chapter 16 echo here.  And Mrs. Pevensie notices more than her children realize.  Whether in Narnia or Spare Oom, cold water keeps a blood stain from setting.  There were others I thought of a I hiked about in the rain today.

Comments

[lady_songsmith]

(a bit of world building there, where I borrowed prayers for the dead from a number of sources).

I was going to ask about that. One of the things that turns up a lot in this fandom is prayers of one sort or another, and I'm always interested in the sources thereof. The moreso with a work like yours, which thematically can't really draw from just one tradition. So, uh - which sources?

[rthstewart.livejournal.com]

Thank you Belief.net. Peter and Lucy's prayers were partly my own invention, and borrowed as well from Christian, Jewish, and pagan sources on that site under categories for death and loss. There might be some Buddhism in there too. I spent some time looking at Islamic prayers but the emphasis was not right for what I wanted, though there was a lovely one about being bathed clean in the after life. Edmund's was rather different. I searched prayers for enemies and eventually found a prayer given on the eve of one of the US engagements in the Middle East -- I think it was the Afghan war -- with a prayer for Osama bin Laden. Given what it is ahead and the Colonel's own views on interrogation technique (why yes, he is channeling the author) this was exactly what I was looking for.

[the_rck]

I enjoyed the chapter a great deal. I read through it twice to make sure I had the details straight in my head (and because, in spite of the pain of losing Guy, I had fun). I'm amazed by the layering you manage.

[autumnia]

All this world building between the different stories really enriches the universe that you as the writer creates and we as the readers can fully experience and enjoy.

Though I didn't remark on this in my review, I did catch Mrs Pevensie mentioning how her children would bring up these strange names and she had no idea who/what they were referring to. It is good to see that they do slip up from time to time and that others who are close to them DO notice these things. Tebbitt, the Colonel.. they would pick out these minor details more easily as a result of their professions.

And ahh, you answered my question about Rommel/Asim/Peter here. Saves me the effort of digging out the printed entirety of Part 1 that I still have saved here somewhere!

Susan, Lambert and Aslan's Country -- you must simply write about it one of these days!

[min023.livejournal.com]

Daylight saving, the universal curse. We're due to come off DST in two weeks, and I love that almost as much as going in (not!). Jet-lag from standing still just isn't amusing! If I have to be jet-lagged, I want to at least have gone somewhere to earn it : )

Anyway, as I've said already, this is a really interesting chapter - fascinating to know that the lament has run from a number of sources - it combines so beautifully, and is so lyrical and flowing, and the sentiments expressed are beautiful.

I just adore they way all of the seemingly disparate threads are starting to all run together - I have this sensation of building speed as everything rushes towards a conclusion. You really have done a remarkable job of keeping all of this stuff straight in your head. Easy for me to say, but you really shouldn't worry about what you publish - it's wonderful ; )

[rthstewart.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Min. It's Monday morning and DST so therefore grim by definition. Even the dog didn't want to get out of bed. Feedback has been slow here, so thanks so much for the checking in and the review!

As for the disparate threads, I've been lucky with all the content that I've not written myself into more corners than I have. Thanks again!