Jason had always been the bravest of his team – their leader, the one everyone else went to for support, protection and guidance. When he was a child he had fallen into that role easily, too young and too fresh for the pressure to grow on him, but now every moment he can feel the pressure, feel the fear that he had never let take root before growing despite the pesticide he tries desperately to spray on it. The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers had been the first rangers based on Earth, the first rangers in thousands of years. They had discovered what they could do, what they had to do on their own.
Every time one of the younger rangers comes to him for help he feels like crying, like screaming. He doesn’t begrudge them the help they seek, he doesn’t, but every time they come with a problem he is reminded that he had no one to help him when he had no solutions. He is reminded that so much of what the rangers do on Earth are based on his own decisions, past and present – and it is the past decisions that scare him. He was so young, had been making so much up. So much of what these younger teams did was based on his guesses, his gut feelings.
When he was a child he never thought twice (could never afford to think twice, he couldn’t be weak in the field, couldn’t be weak in front of his team – his friends, when had they become a team instead of friends?) Now he has all the time in the world to go back over every battle, every decision, everything that has made a lasting impact on the Rangers. He lets himself feel afraid for his younger self – feel angry, feel insecure.
The younger rangers come to him for advice, for help, and he can’t keep giving them answers he never really had, let someone else parrot the words of his younger self, let someone else take that burden because Jason can no longer avoid admitting that he has never truly known what he was doing. Jason can no longer stand the pressure of being the first, being the foundation of the rangers – because that is the duty that Zordon gave him and that is what he has been for far too long.
A younger Jason was able to be brave in spite of everything, the older Jason can’t stand denying his feelings any longer.
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Every time one of the younger rangers comes to him for help he feels like crying, like screaming. He doesn’t begrudge them the help they seek, he doesn’t, but every time they come with a problem he is reminded that he had no one to help him when he had no solutions. He is reminded that so much of what the rangers do on Earth are based on his own decisions, past and present – and it is the past decisions that scare him. He was so young, had been making so much up. So much of what these younger teams did was based on his guesses, his gut feelings.
When he was a child he never thought twice (could never afford to think twice, he couldn’t be weak in the field, couldn’t be weak in front of his team – his friends, when had they become a team instead of friends?) Now he has all the time in the world to go back over every battle, every decision, everything that has made a lasting impact on the Rangers. He lets himself feel afraid for his younger self – feel angry, feel insecure.
The younger rangers come to him for advice, for help, and he can’t keep giving them answers he never really had, let someone else parrot the words of his younger self, let someone else take that burden because Jason can no longer avoid admitting that he has never truly known what he was doing. Jason can no longer stand the pressure of being the first, being the foundation of the rangers – because that is the duty that Zordon gave him and that is what he has been for far too long.
A younger Jason was able to be brave in spite of everything, the older Jason can’t stand denying his feelings any longer.