"Crowley," Aziraphale said very slowly, "why is there a goose harassing people on the sidewalk outside my bookshop?"

"Dunno, angel." Crowley tapped away at his phone, only just sparing a glance for the white-feathered menace driving customers away from the front door of A.Z. Fell & Co. "Jealous that a little bird's doing a better job of scaring off people than you do?"

"That's absurd," Aziraphale muttered, and he went grumbling back to his desk.

Crowley held up his phone and snapped a picture of the goose snatching a man's car keys out of his hand. "I think I'm going to call him Herbert."

"We are not naming the goose!"