You have my sympathies. When my allergy developed, my SIL was the one taking over the Big Holiday Meal. EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING on the menu, down to the snacks, had my allergen in it save for the can of mixed nuts hubby opened for me, and the jellied cranberry sauce in a can-- SIL had mixed allergen into the opened can of cranberry sauce with mashed berries in it.
I ate a meal six hours later, at Jack in the Box, on the drive home.
NO, we did not go back, and I certainly ENCOURAGE you to tell that branch of the family to do the same.
It isn't that it's life-threatening (for your relative, it is).
It isn't that it's viciously selfish to insist on something dangerous to other guests (it is).
It's that it shows utter disregard for the person with an allergy as a member of the family.
Get your schedule clear some other day, have a private visit with that branch of the family, and do things you all enjoy. That's more important than any date on a calendar.
Sigh
I ate a meal six hours later, at Jack in the Box, on the drive home.
NO, we did not go back, and I certainly ENCOURAGE you to tell that branch of the family to do the same.
It isn't that it's life-threatening (for your relative, it is).
It isn't that it's viciously selfish to insist on something dangerous to other guests (it is).
It's that it shows utter disregard for the person with an allergy as a member of the family.
Get your schedule clear some other day, have a private visit with that branch of the family, and do things you all enjoy. That's more important than any date on a calendar.