Plot and writing, thoughts by Lady Songsmith

[rthstewart]

She raises a point others have about the coherency of Tebbitt's Three Day Bender. 


Courtesy of lady_songsmith 
On The Plot and Writing in General

I'm surprised that you lose readers; nothing you've written is particularly indecent, explicit, or dark. Granted, you do write a more adult perspective (Thank you!!), but the level of 'adultness' has seemed to me constant throughout. You plunged us right into it with that first tea and the moral issues raised therein, and you've held us steady since then. I don't see chapters getting darker; more complex, perhaps, but only inasmuch as any story complicates before it unravels. That is the natural rhythm of storytelling.

I congratulate you on making sense of one of CSL's many gaping plotholes, to whit, what anyone is doing taking their wife and teenage daughter gallivanting across the Atlantic in the middle of a war. Of course, CSL seems to have forgotten that WWII was ongoing during VoDT based on his characters' ages ("back in the war years" indeed!) but then his worldbuilding has always been dreadful.

I know virtually nothing of WW2 beyond the 'landmarks' of the war, and I confess it gives me a headache; I never have been able to find a corner of it small enough to nibble on, and the whole of it is too great for me to compass. This makes QSiT rather difficult going for me, particularly in the early chapters where we get a good deal of war planning all in code. Even on 4th and 5th readings I still haven't quite translated all the early chapters. But in Asim's POV and in later QSiT chapters, I'm enjoying the glimpses into the war that you have woven into the story. They are simultaneously personal to the characters and situated broadly enough to sketch out the greater course of the war. You've successfully humanized things -- the loss of the tanks is just a statistic, but now that we've seen these characters sweat for them, it's a tragedy almost as profound as if 250 people had sunk in that attack, and that leads us naturally towards considering the repercussions of the loss in the greater theaters of the war.

I like that MAR feels she's smacked into a brick wall with P at the end of a chapter which opens with P pondering who would win in a confrontation between her and a brick wall, and betting on her.

One of the things I love most about QSiT is E's perfect anticipation of P's reading speed. I can just see years and years of brother-kings plowing through paperwork together in every interjection.

I was very interested to know who the Hierophant represented, and then I read on your LJ that it was Asim, and now I'm even more eager to see S meet him.

It took at least 5 readings, but I finally worked out that the Moles had something to do with the Rule of Three just before you posted the upcoming chapter title... about the Moles. I feel rather dense, but please accept this as a compliment on brilliant and subtle foreshadowing.

Still not sure how I feel about the mix of poetry and prose in the latest chapter. I'm sure it's all carefully chosen, and it is apropos as far as I can see, but I keep finding myself skipping over it. Possibly a little overkill? As a look into T's character, though, it's interesting. We know he's deeper than he lets on, but one still wouldn't quite credit him with that sort of memory or tendency toward literary musings at the end of a three-day binge.

Comments

[metonomia.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm going to jump right in (because this is so darn *awesome*!), and sort of defend Tebbitt, as it were. First, let me set aside my sqeeeeTebbitt! and squeeeepoetry! automatic responses, because otherwise I won't be coherent at all and will just start writing more haiku about coffee and sandwiches.

With the poetry - what I so enjoy there is that is *is* surprisingly coherent, in a way. I love this personality quirk of Tebbitt's, introduced originally just as a way to pick up girls (and yes, quoting Keats would quite probably work on me), but now expanded to a general affinity for/study of poetry. I think it fits well with Tebbitt's somewhat pouty nature, and I liked the idea that he is at such a loss right now to process what he's having to do that he is borrowing other people's words. I suppose I can see how it might seem a bit out of place for a completely hungover man to have such recall of specific poetry, but in a way I also think it's totally appropriate - he's stumbling around trying to figure out what he's been doing for the last three days, and all he can think of is bits of poetry.

But, I will always love Tebbitt and his poetic nature too much to be unbiased about it.

[autumnia]

It took at least 5 readings, but I finally worked out that the Moles had something to do with the Rule of Three just before you posted the upcoming chapter title... about the Moles.

Now, I really, *really* must go back and read about the Moles again in the earlier chapters. I did not see that one coming at all until this mention here.

As for Tebbitt's poetical thoughts, funny enough, when I was reading your first post from this morning, Ruth, I was listening to the soundtrack from "Bright Star", in which Ben Whishaw (as Keats) was reciting "Ode to a Nightingale" among other things. Perhaps it will be his voice I hear whenever Tebbitt is spouting poetry.

But truly, I love how you added the poetry into the last chapter. It really does give us more insight in Tebbitt's character other than the fact that he's sometimes whiny and crude.