rthstewart (
rthstewart) wrote2012-08-15 10:22 am
Entry tags:
DVD Com-meme-tory
So the last couple of days have been unexpectedly highly stressful for someone who is supposed to be on vacation. All is peaceful now other than the unbelievable infestation of mosquitoes.
The Narnia Fic Exchange is going on in full swing, so do check it out!!!
And while I always feel a little weird about this, what the heck, it looks like fun. I got this from branchandroot
Pick any passage of 500 words or less from anything I've written and paste it into a comment to this post. Then I'll flail, flounder and provide the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, and anything else that you’d expect to find on a DVD commentary track.
The Narnia Fic Exchange is going on in full swing, so do check it out!!!
And while I always feel a little weird about this, what the heck, it looks like fun. I got this from branchandroot
Pick any passage of 500 words or less from anything I've written and paste it into a comment to this post. Then I'll flail, flounder and provide the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, and anything else that you’d expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

no subject
Peter never did enunciate the polite declination already forming. What happened next, Digory was never able to explain or recall clearly. It happened too quickly. There were footsteps in the hallway and he saw Peter turn toward the sound as Mary, too, twisted in her seat. Then Peter was no longer at the bookshelf but moving, very fast, and not stopping until he had effectively blocked the person at the door from entering the office.
"What on earth," Mary exclaimed, rising at the same time as Digory realized what had happened. Peter had created a barricade, with Mary and Digory behind him, and the intruder in front of him. Except, of course, it was not an intruder.
"Hello, Asim." Digory said quickly, also standing, and hoping to defuse the suddenly very awkward situation. "It's good to see you again. Peter, I'd like to introduce you to Asim bin Kalil, a friend of the Russells'."
no subject
no subject
He realised now what she wanted, what she needed.
Licence my roving hands, and let them go
Before, behind, between, above, below.
These were not Susan Caspian's hands that wandered about him, deliberate and knowing. It was not even Mrs. Ellis of Leeds who edged closer, teased apart the buttons on his nightshirt, who shrugged out of her dressing gown to expose bare, white shoulders. This was the final test for Jeanne-Louise Lambert, codenamed Rat, the reserved and shabby French woman. It was she who gently pushed him back into the small bed and slid on top of him and pressed her hungry, trembling body against his.
"Susan, we agreed. We weren't going toβ¦"
"S'il vous plait?"
Please, she whispered against his mouth, again and again. Please.
no subject
He might be a fool, but no one who had been in this position would judge him weak for pleading. "You will protect my children? My House? Can you promise me that?"
The lordling stared at him, frowning, and the confusion in his young face did not instill the confidence Linch desperately needed.
"You do not understand, do you?" the lordling finally said. "You do not see?"
"See what?" Linch snapped, realizing he sounded very like the Raven.
Slowly, Harold the clerk put his hands into the neck of his shirt and withdrew a leather tie. He pulled it over his head and removed the ring that hung from it. With the solemnity of a great ceremony, Harold put the ring on his finger.
"The Lone Islands and all its people, you, and your family, and all the members of your House, you all are mine. By oath taken before Aslan himself, Creator, First and Last, by my life, and death, by my honour and that of my family, I am sworn to protect you."
Linch stared, amazed and dumbstruck. Never had he heard such words, nor heard such conviction. Who was this person? Where had this empathy hidden? This strength? Where had he been? He made such promises β promises a desperate father clung to as flotsam in a storm. Linch stumbled from his chair and dropped to the feet of the man before him.
"Please, do not let Morgan and Pierce come to harm. I will give you anything, the wealth of my House, anything." Linch felt a panicked sob rise and furiously choked it back. He had not wept since he was a child.
The lordling clerk took his hands and Linch felt the calluses and scars that were not from quills alone. So close, he glimpsed a holder strapped to a strong arm and realized the man carried a knife under his fine linen sleeve. The ring on his hand was heavy gold and cleverly wrought, with a lion, a bird, and a scale.
"Director, still you misunderstand. You and yours have my love and my protection. You owe me nothing save your allegiance and even without that, still, I would protect you and your children."
How could someone give something and ask nothing in return? "You will?" the Banker asked, still unbelieving.
"Always, in this world and beyond, to the end."
"Thank you." Linch bent over the hands and kissed the ring of the King.
no subject
This scene, of Peter reacting instinctively to Asim is another and I was never fully satisfied that I managed to convey in writing the speed and energy of what I had in my head. Like so much of these early chapters, there are a whole bunch of things that I tried to show here. I establish several of the themes of the story. Also, much of my early work was a reaction to common fandom tropes and that's very true of this scene as well.
Peter in the fics of the time was so often shown as moping and depressed and WAAAAH I'm not High King. When he is High King in Spare Oom, it's usually shown by being awesome at fencing. I wanted to go deeper than that and set up what is shown over and over, the adult in the child's body. Oh he waivers in adolescent angst periodically to be sure. Still he is a warrior king and that is shown, not in being good in fencing class, but by being intuitively able to recognize a threat and in decisively acting upon on it. We also see his protectiveness and his athleticism.
As we learn later, Asim sees Peter's unusual qualities immediately because he HAS been with and among Kings and warriors. He has ridden with and fought alongside great men and he sees that in Peter. As I explain later, Asim enjoys discomfiting people and expectation so that's why he goes stalking around in robes, carrying knives and generally looking like he's still part of Lawrence's Irregulars. What is unusual is that Peter provides the reaction that Asim has been deliberately trying to provoke.
Another thematic element I wanted to begin to show was that England, while not as beautifully idyllic as Narnia, has interesting people and diverse cultures as well. Asim embodies this. He further presents both the positive and the negative of colonial Empire. The positive is the exposure to other cultures -- the negative, well, colonial Empire.
Last, I wanted to wade into issues of race. There's some pretty problematic language about race in the Chronicles and I've found the fandom expresses similar views about the "heathen" races. Peter and Asim immediately make up and become very good friends. This was where I begin to develop the idea of multi-cultural tolerance, a central theme of the work, and how the diversity of Narnia is echoed here and positively.
There's a tension here β is Peter making negative assumptions about race and appearance, or is he legitimately reacting to perceived and real threat? It's some of both, which is why I tried to be clear that what especially bothers him is that Asim is a very dangerous and armed person who happens to look differently. I addressed the potential negative of racism in the next chapter by having Edmund squarely warn Peter to be cognizant of it.
So, I guess that's some of it. Thanks so much!!!
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-08-16 04:23 pm (UTC)(link)Hoping all who read this blog are enjoying a wonderful summer,
Clio1792
no subject
Three things pushed me. First is that a number of the women agents did take lovers. The biographies are very clear on that and so I think it's very consistent with the milieu. (There was a lot of this going on at Bletchley Park, which I allude to in Rat and Sword).
Second is the trope of the romantic night before going off to war. We know that Susan lives, but they don't.
Third, and most important, is the related point about duty. Duty is what makes Susan send Tebbitt off to bed that horrid newspaper woman to get the goods on Vice President Wallace in TQSiT. Here, the tables turn and it is Tebbitt who is sending Susan off and we see the enormous cost of that duty upon relationships. There's a huge poignancy in that they are as intimate as a couple can be, he loves her, she's going away and the odds are very high that she will die, AND he knows she's going to be in the middle of D-Day. He doesn't tell her. That's why we get the scene from his POV. His love is strong, their connection is strong, but their shared duty is the strongest and trumps even the relationship of lovers. Susan even recalls all this when she goes hunting later, during the invasion. She realizes they all knew the truth and they all lied to her, including her lover and wrangler and her mentors and she's OK with that. That to me was very poignant.
no subject
Second is that Rafe Linch's, "I'll give you anything" emphasizes again the Banker calculating, means, ends, compensatory, I scratch your back, you pay me, mentality. The idea of something beautiful and powerful being given freely, just because it is the right thing to do rather than the most profitable or expedient, is very foreign to them. The exception is Morgan who, for whatever reason, looks beyond the utilitarian and has a very sound moral compass.
The scene also gave us a chance to see Edmund and their relationship from the outside, which doesn't happen much at all in the story and which is unusual for me given the amount of time I write Pevensies from outside POVs.
Last, over the last year or two, I've really been working through Edmund's role as the Just, his compassion and his capacity for forgiveness and the dispensing of mercy. If/when I pick up AW, there are some big, big things ahead for him and this all plays significantly into that. I'm not a huge fan of Edmund angst. As is stated in numerous places, he feels he received a profound gift and rather than dwelling on OMG ASLAN DIED FOR ME, I'M NOT WORTHY I'M NOT WORTHY, Edmund has fully internalized Aslan's gift. Yes, there's the whole Monarch's duty and I think that even if his siblings would say something similar. With Edmund, when he speaks this way it is from a position of profound gratitude. A big thematic element of the work is loving those who don't deserve it and we see that here. The Linch isn't a bad man, but he's never given his monarch's allegiance and has treated Edmund with a fair amount of contempt, but to Edmund it doesn't matter. He gives and loves regardless, both because he is Monarch and because of Aslan's grace.
no subject
no subject
I'm not sure if this was some final test in order for her to fully inhabit the role of Jeanne. This does raise an interesting question -- did Susan want this and use Jeanne to seduce him? I don't have an answer to that.
Tebbitt is much less rebellious here, and sober. Autumnia noted that. He's got a purpose and I really don't write dumb characters -- he's smart but felt enormous self disgust with what he was doing. This is more honest work, of a sort.
And yes, I think that Linch/Susan is my favorite too.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-08-17 01:53 am (UTC)(link)Hellen
no subject
Truly, with Helen sending three of her children off on adventures far beyond their years, she's entitled to know more, which Edmund does realize. Also, as several readers pointed out, there's a HUGE difference in Edmund's emotional maturity here versus with Morgan and so in the last few chapters of H&M I have been steadily moving him toward this point. We can credit his being married and in a committed relationship for some of the emotional growth that is seen.
Here, we see a mother's love, plain and simple. I thought about how a mother whose many serious doubts are answered and who still has huge numbers of questions. She is able to put that all aside for the sake of her son who she realizes is tired at the moment and looking forward, not back (that forward momentum of course being a huge theme of the story). Helen is able to put her own needs aside for her son, which is so much a part of motherhood.
no subject
The toast itself resulted from research into lots and lots of death rituals in different religious and pagan traditions. I think this one probably has its roots in some sort of pagan ceremony. I was always bothered by the use of the word "home" twice in the phrase but couldn't think of a better way to do it.
The idea behind Narnian death is summarized when Leszi and Roblang are instructing Peter in Narnia custom and say that as is typical of Narnians, they all know where they are going when they die but can't agree on how they get there. For Narnians, then, the idea of death is the final journey, a return to Aslan, and so while those left behind grieve (which is acknowledged and permitted), there is a joy that the deceased has joined Aslan. Narnian grieve for their own loss, but do not grieve for the person who has gone on -- no particular dwelling on lives cut short too soon. We know from the Chronicles that there is life after death from TLB -- even if I don't like so much about that book. So, the toast/salute is very much a homage to and consistent with that vision of a happy afterlife that all Narnians have.
The idea of a happy next journey came up in my research of the death rituals of some of the African American churches which have their roots in joy that the deceased has (sometimes literally) left the slavery of this life to rise into heaven and rest in the bosom of Christ. That concept worked its way into the Narnian belief system.
no subject
no subject
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-08-18 04:53 am (UTC)(link)"So why are you here, Gentle Susan? Strange. Why gentle? Not harsh or severe, a gentle scolding, a gentle tap. Good breeding, high station, chivalrous as a knight that you shall never be. To tame or break, that will never be you. Easily managed? I suppose that's true enough, though you are the one doing the managing not being managed, if you take my meaning."
"No, Xucoatl, I fear I do not." Truly, he was very glib and witty, but also the most confounding of personalities.
"Fear? You'll have it, that's for certain. Fear's a bad business, genteel, managing, not gentled Susan." He walked closer to her, so close she could see how fire burned under his very skin, yet did not consume him. In a whisper, he confided, "The trick is, gentle isn't weak. Everyone thinks it is, and isn't. Gentle is getting your way without anyone noticing it. A tide is gentle until you drown in it. A tree grows gently until its roots strangle you."
In that moment, Susan saw something ancient and knowing in his small, rimmed, round eye. Except in Aslan, she had never seen anything so old. What was this strange, magical creature?
Thanks muchly!
Dinah
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-08-18 02:19 pm (UTC)(link)"I could have told you Morgan was at the stream," Jalur complained. "But you went to Eirene first and didn't even ask."
Poor Tiger. He was still upset, both over the lack of dumb otter and their long separation. A clingy, emotional Tiger was unsettling.
"As Morgan is still at the stream, perhaps you would like to go swimming, my Guard?"
"It isn't deep enough," Jalur grumbled. "And there are no otters or Otters there. I checked." He was determined to not be pleased.
"Is there somewhere you would like to go, Jalur? Something you would like to do?"
Jalur lashed his tail and narrowed his yellow eyes. "You are acting suspiciously. Is there something wrong?" He lifted his head and inhaled, searching about the path that was taking them from the outbuildings to the stream. "Is there a threat? Is something wrong? Is there something dangerous to your person I must eat?"
"Jalur?"
"My King?"
"I shall do everything in power to ensure that you travel with me on all foreign visits in the future. And when we return to Cair Paravel, you may take the duty of my Night Guard if you wish."
Jalur let out a little mewling rumble. He lowered his head and permitted Edmund to rub his tufted ear.
"I think Morgan will have difficulty with a temporary guard while Jina is whelping. I know I would have difficulty and greatly missed you during my time in the Lone Islands."
Jalur rubbed his head up against Edmund's chest so suddenly and strongly, he nearly fell over.
Doctor Dolly
no subject
Oh this story. This one was really hard. I wrote it for Anastigmat who is absolutely the best and she was happy with it, which thrilled me. This was a deeply personal story and I really pushed myself to go further than I had ever had before. As a result, not surprisingly, I lost readers and I have since learned that others were sneaking peeks at it, and either didn't want to publicly admit it or didn't want to leave any feedback that would be scathing.
Anyway, the idea of the kingmaking goes back to almost before I entered the fandom. The idea of the story was always there and Ana and I discussed it way back 2009 and 2010. I had also raised the idea with Miniver early on and she mentioned the idea of riddling as part of a challenge. When I got assigned Anastigmat on the pinch hit for the NFE I plunged in and immediately ran into some problems. A lot of the ancient rituals are very sexualized and I knew I needed more -- that's the route Bedlamsbard took with Peter and the sentient Narnia, which is amazing and I was very cognizant of treading too close to her work. And also why only Peter? I decided to involve Susan and Peter and divvy up the tasks and so Susan got the riddling.
Canon (I think Silver Chair) tells us about the witty talking fire salamanders and of course they have a significant lore here. Xucoatl is the Aztec fire serpent. He was the logical choice for the challenge.
And then there are his many statements about Susan the Gentle Queen. I love Susan, obviously, and spent a lot of time with her. The gentle as tides and tree roots until you try to go against them is a metaphor I've used before with Susan. I've also used the gentle isn't weak as well. I think those are very important components of Susan's gentle character. The first part, genteel, tame or break, etc. are dictionary definitions of gentle and so Xucoatl rattles them off. I've also written Susan as a superb manager in a way that goes deeper than the usual "list maker" to which she is often relegated and demeaned in fandom. "Oh look, Susan is making lists about flowers again." I really bristle with that because being a good manager of people and things is hard and good managers are a joy to work for and create value for their organizations.
In short, gentle is a very complex adjective, like Susan herself.
The reference to being genteel, high stationed, and chivalrous like a Knight but never knighted refers to the fact that in this vision, Susan is never knighted, as Peter, Edmund and Lucy are -- something which Peter and Susan discuss in AW.
Thank you so much for stopping by!
no subject
"Would you release me from my Palace Guard's oath?"
Peter's hand paused on her head. Whatever he had expected, this had not been it. She felt the powerful emotions, surging up, and then smothered with a poorly executed lie. "I'd give you anything, you know that, Dalia." He paused and Dalia knew traitorous words of courtesy were catching in his throat. "You have only to ask."
He did not question. There was no pleading, no demand for explanation, no compulsion. There was only his immediate, gracious acceptance as she betrayed his trust.
The explanation she had rehearsed was hollow and selfish now. Though her excuses hid a higher purpose, they seemed all the more inadequate for it. "I am a Great Cat."
"The Greatest," he murmured, "save The Lion."
"Aslan did not make me to be social, Peter. I'm meant to be alone." She nudged Beehn, sleeping next to his brother. "My boys will grow up together and spend their lives together, as you and Edmund do. But, female Great Cats are solitary."
He shifted against her, the embrace tightening as Peter thought on this essential fact of her very being. Quietly, in a voice heavy with guilt, he asked, "Has it been so hard for you, Lady?"
She had always given him honesty; she could not shy from it now. "I have never regretted being your Guard, Peter, never for a moment. Being your Guard has been the greatest gift of my life."
"Until Fooh and Beehn."
They both knew he spoke the truth. She did not want to pain him further by confirming it.
"But, yes, my Love, it has been hard and my service has come at great cost."
Even so, she would have continued as the High King's Guard, had intended to continue. But, a duty even greater called to her and she could not ignore it as she long had.
The practiced lines and the truth they concealed were easier now. "I am not like you, Peter. I am not meant to be around others so persistently. Every day I am by your side, in your meetings, dealings, and functions, I am at war with myself. It will kill me, Peter, if I continue."
"And it is a credit to your integrity and strength that I never knew it, Dalia. I want your happiness, Lady, more than my own."
Dalia rubbed her head hard against him, pushing Peter back, relishing the touch, the contact, the connection between them, that she would now sever, both for her sake, and for his. By leaving, she might both preserve her own sanity, and, for the good of Narnia, free him.
"If you will, Peter, I would train my sons to take my place as your Guard. They will be for you what I cannot be."
He smiled, though it was thin, bitter and sad. "There is a good symmetry there. I would like that very much."
She nuzzled his eyes shut. "Might I still Guard your sleep? Would you permit me that, though I otherwise forsake you?"
In his honesty, he would not deny that she was breaking her oath. "You would stay on as Night Guard?"
"I would, if you wish it. I cannot Guard your steps, Peter. If you will let me, I shall Guard your sleep."
*sniff*
no subject
I put this in because Jalur hasn't really had much to do here. Jalur is being a good guard and keeping his jaws shut and guarding Edmund. In fact, when Edmund and Morgan sort of dance away from the party to talk about their conversations with Aslan, Edmund knows Jalur is there and has followed, even though he doesn't see or hear him.
Jalur is unhappy that Edmund left him and he always suffers from this misapprehension that Edmund loves Merle more. He's needy, clingy and needs reassurance and a part of Edmund's own emotional development is that he is better recognizing it. Of course this also is setting up the big separation to come, when Jalur and Lambert do not come to Tashbaan. At least that's my current assumption. I've not thought about it a whole lot, but I assume that is the arrangement.
Jalur as Edmund's night guard isn't going to work very well and it won't last for very long, but it's a nice gesture on Edmund's part.
no subject
I was never entirely happy with how this turned out. I knew that I wanted to get across the idea that a human succession is incredibly important to the Beasts and that they generally and the Guards in particular, are not above manipulating the Monarchs to get it. This actually is in the most recent chapter of H&M too.
In the overall scheme of things, this is a bad time for Narnia. Merle is dead (later revealed to be through treachery), they've got a spy ring operating out of the Cair Paravel, Peter's hoped for engagement has fallen through and now Dalia leaves him.
Dalia is my send up of the Mary Sue trope, where she sacrifices herself for the sake of her true wuv. Dalia assumes, rightly, that she has become Peter's ideal, against whom every other partner is measured and comes up lacking for she is perfect in her devotion to Peter. But of course it's all for nothing, because in the end, the problem is with Peter and he's always longing for the perfect relationship and doesn't ever get it. He gives too much to others and doesn't have enough left over for a relationship.
I always thought that Dalia's logic was flawed but fortunately neither Peter nor any reader has called me on it.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-08-19 04:07 pm (UTC)(link)Dinah
no subject
no subject