Thank you so much for giving us all the glimpse into the Bonding ceremonies and particularly Peter's participation in the Revels and Susan's romp with the Goddesses.
With Susan, such a lovely hint of sensuality when Lucy observes touches that she was fairly certain were considered improper in that other place. It matched so perfectly the point at which you'd established Susan- not wanting the Revels, *yet*. But realizing that she will want such things soon. And I love that she doesn't bother with the laces on the way back, showing that her feelings on such things have changed.
With Peter, such a great job showing his reluctance and confusion but also the determination to do right by his land and his subjects that is so fundamental to his character. Your description of his encounter with the hesitant Satyr was perfect, and really quite hot. Brief allusions sometimes work better than long, involved descriptions. And in particular, the last line describing Peter at the Revels was wonderfully evocative without getting too explicit. Not that I'd object to the porn-tastic version of that scene, but it would not have fit with the rest of the story at all. What you wrote did.
Other high points: Edmund understanding, in his intellectual way, that he and Lucy have become more comfortable, and Peter needs that acceptance that he can readily provide (and, due to the societal problems specific to male homosexuality, Susan and Lucy cannot).
Also, Lucy's thorough identification as a Narnian due to her young age. So much of her later character in your universe flows from her core personality being formed under Narnian rules. Edmund to some degree as well, but his intellectual nature causes him to internalize it differently (and great to see him and Lucy discuss that).
The Revels and everything else
With Susan, such a lovely hint of sensuality when Lucy observes touches that she was fairly certain were considered improper in that other place. It matched so perfectly the point at which you'd established Susan- not wanting the Revels, *yet*. But realizing that she will want such things soon. And I love that she doesn't bother with the laces on the way back, showing that her feelings on such things have changed.
With Peter, such a great job showing his reluctance and confusion but also the determination to do right by his land and his subjects that is so fundamental to his character. Your description of his encounter with the hesitant Satyr was perfect, and really quite hot. Brief allusions sometimes work better than long, involved descriptions. And in particular, the last line describing Peter at the Revels was wonderfully evocative without getting too explicit. Not that I'd object to the porn-tastic version of that scene, but it would not have fit with the rest of the story at all. What you wrote did.
Other high points: Edmund understanding, in his intellectual way, that he and Lucy have become more comfortable, and Peter needs that acceptance that he can readily provide (and, due to the societal problems specific to male homosexuality, Susan and Lucy cannot).
Also, Lucy's thorough identification as a Narnian due to her young age. So much of her later character in your universe flows from her core personality being formed under Narnian rules. Edmund to some degree as well, but his intellectual nature causes him to internalize it differently (and great to see him and Lucy discuss that).
Well done!
-H