In which I take a deep breath and hit the post button anyway

[rthstewart]

So, Chapter 8, The Queen Susan in Finchley, is up.

There’s not much research here. The information on the SS Seatrain came from here. 

I really meant to get this up sooner, but I’ve been tweaking Susan and Peter’s conversation for days. I’ve been concerned about a lot of things there. I don’t want Peter to seem pompous or judgmental for acts undertaken in Narnia. I really wanted to show a good relationship between the two of them because without that, the “not a Friend of Narnia” is meaningless. The ends and means discussion reappears, now with the added gloss of what it means to be a Knight of Narnia. It was min023  who pointed out once how Susan was the only one not a Knight and I've thought a lot about that over the months.

Of immense concern to l_a_r_m , Lowrey’s fate remains undecided. This is a step forward, as I did intend to kill him.

And of course, the chapter continues the meditation on families and children and the war’s effects upon them. The Churchill quote is deliberately ironic given what the War did to English family life. I’ve been working on the theme for several chapters now with good parents (Tom Clark, Lin Kun and Kwong Lee), bad parents (Harold and Alberta), absent parents (Richard Russell, John Pevensie, Leszi, Jack’s mother, Yi), parental figures (Ruby, Peter in many different guises), and unconventional families and single parents (Ruby as surrogate mother to Jack, Tom Clark, Dalia and Mrs. Pevensie as single parents, Maureen in an Asian family, Peter in a Cheetah family, Cyrus and the Satyrs) and so forth.

I’ve not addressed head on the issue of whether Edmund was one of those absent fathers and whether Morgan was one of those single mothers for a lot of reasons. Most troubling to me is that it reeks of fandom cliché and it’s not a part of the story that most TSG readers have focused upon too much. I’ve tried to show something of how I see the succession after the departure and it’s not the harsh, brutal, or violent upheaval most often shown in fic. Hence the reason for the introduction of Aidan and his many small relations. 

snacky , Clio, E, autumnia , and min023  have been a huge help with this chapter.  So, thank you!

There’s more to come about Edmund and Morgan.  Like the Valentine's Day story, I will post it here and not on ff.net.

Some chapters come easily. The conversation between Peter and Susan was not one of them.

Comments

[the_rck]

Yea! I was thrilled to see another chapter up, and nothing in it disappointed me. I find myself wishing occasionally that I'd just found your fic for the first time so that I could have the fun of reading it again for the first time.

Thanks so much for writing!

[autumnia]

Some chapters come easily. The conversation between Peter and Susan was not one of them.

And truly, your work here in this chapter was magnificent (apologies to the High King for my use of the word). As I said in my review, the conversation between Susan and Peter was one of my favorite parts of this chapter. Normally, it would be Susan/Edmund's conversation (which I loved just as much as it was more discussion into Rat and Crow) but there was something about Peter and Su's talk that really caught my attention. I think it's because we normally see so much of the other siblings' conversations with each other (Peter/Edmund, Edmund/Lucy and Peter/Lucy [in Narnian flashbacks]) but we rarely see how the two older siblings interact with each other.

[marbleglove.livejournal.com]

When I was reading the chapter, I got distracted from your recounting of the succession by the character development going on, but now I realize that, yeah, very few stories deal with the Narnia succession after the Pevensies leave and those that do have it be uncertain and tragic. Part of being a good ruler, however, would be having a clear succession. I like that they had a succession and their stay was more than a single brief golden age in a long bleak history. They started something that took a thousand years or more to run down.

And some conversations are just as difficult for the author as for the characters. It came out really well though.

Keep writing.

[elouise82.livejournal.com]

I am finally - FINALLY - getting caught up on reading. Which right now involved a whole lot of re-reading the earlier parts. Which leads me to mention again, in case I didn't already leave a review on it on ff.net, how much I adore the interaction between Eustace and Mary in the museum. And how your Eustace is not, as so many portray him, a mindless drone to whatever Alberta tells him, but that his interests in science are very much his own. And his grimly realistic expectations of what life at Experiment House will be like (and the hint, perhaps just present in my own mind, that his school might have played a large part in his horridness, as much of it might have been necessary for self-preservation) now, and his desire to talk to Digory and Polly about how to be a not-royal Friend ...

Well. I love Eustace. Obviously. And you write him very well indeed.

(I will try to leave more reviews on ff.net, but I'm reduced to typing with only my left hand for a few days, so they may not be very long or detailed. Typing left-handed is slow and painful, for me anyway, though better than trying to write on paper with my left hand.)

[intrikate88.livejournal.com]

Saving the chapter for tomorrow- I'm having a little hospital vacation for the next few days and need something to do. Can't wait to read it! :D

[min023.livejournal.com]

What an amazing chapter. Parts of it may have been hard to write, but you certainly wouldn't know it from reading. There is much here to love. The interaction between The Meeting of Minds - wonderful. And the complex relationship between Peter and Susan just has so many nuances.

Got to the final scene, and my mouth just dropped open. Don't know whether I'm anywhere near the reality, but all of a sudden I saw how the 'no longer a Friend' could play out. I never would have considered the abandonment of a 'blown code/cover story' as part of the scenario, but I can definitely see how that might play - brilliant plot twist, there.

FF.net review is coming, but now I have to go be Mum, in hopes of getting out the door somewhere vaguely on time : )

anti-colonial king

[(Anonymous)]

Hi,

It's been ages since I commented one of your fan-fics, because of what I don't feel good, but as the reasons are hardly to be discussed in public, I'll pass over them. Nonetheless I'd like you to know, that I've been reading all your stories during that time.
I won't make detailed analysis of what has been written when I was silent, I'd like to make just one remark; here, on livejournal, so that others could also express what they think about it.
In my opinion, there is nothing strange in the High King being anti-colonial. Susan or Edmund can be surprised at the begining, belive it to be ironic, but after second thought they should reconsider. Emperor of the Lone Islands has all the rights to be against British colonialism; what is the difference between those two situations is the base of political system which is in force.
Traditional monarchy is (or at least is supposed to be) a contract (formally expressed or not) between two sides - monarch and his subject (each subject individually), generally stating that subject is to obey the monarch and monarch is to take care of subject. A situation in which monarch is a foreigner is very common in the history and has never really caused any problems; it could be problematic when he had more than one country, but only when he was favourising one of them on the other's expense or/and one of his countries was obtained by conquest - cause in both this situations the contract I mentioned was not abided by. Peter (foreigner for all his dominions) was undoubtedly monarch by the Grace of God, so with undeniable rights to any land he was given; I also doubt that he would be unjust towards Lone Islands.
XXth century Great Britain was democratic; democracy was it's tenet, foundation (some particular laws are here irrelevant). And the basis of democracy is the belief that people should be allowed to have full control over their lives and if to be governed - only by people who are their representatives, chosen by themselves. Obviously it did not apply to the people of India - but neither were they part of the monarch-subject system described before (as people from colonies have never been, no metter what the political system was).
The High King Peter has all the rights and even should share anti-colonial sentiments, as they are against unjustified inequality in treating citizens, or - as he is more used to think - subjects.

Best,
Krystyna

PS. To all who don't know me yet - my apologies for any mistakes, but English is not my first language.

[(Anonymous)]

Just left a review at FF.net, but had a few more comments!
I really appreciated the comments from Susan and Peter regarding historical sources and how jumbled they get! I did a degree in history, and quite vividly remember the frustration from having limited and contradicting accounts from 900 year old sources. I can see this problem being extreme in Narnia, where so many of its people couldn't write, after being conquered by Telmarines. It makes my head spin thinking about it, haha.
I also wanted to mention how much I love when the Narnia-world affects and is relevant to our world. I think it has to be in the story, because it is so vital to making the Pevensies who they are.
On a final, more personal, note, thanks for making me feel welcome! I am extremely fandom/comment shy - this is probably the most I have ever reviewed anything, haha.

Keep up the good work, and I eagerly await more Harold and Morgan!

- JamieApple

[katharhino.livejournal.com]

Your work paid off because I thought the Peter/Susan convo had real depth and balance. I loved the hints that Susan is more aware of how many problems could be caused by the tangle of Narnia/England. And sees her role moving forward very differently than the other three, even Edmund. Also I see in another comment you think most people would lean toward Susan's side of the ethics debate. I actually think that's the best part. Peter's comments are right on, and really challenging. I'm not sure who's "right" if anyone, and that means you did your job well.

Using the Narnian Code

[(Anonymous)]

Hallo

You know, I may be being a bit obtuse, but Susan, Peter and Edmund all knew that Major al-Masri had broken the Narnian code. If not he, himself, then some of the hordes climbing on and off trains at Beltchley.

So, the Pevensies already know they've been copped, to use the phrase. They knew that from the moment al-Masri appeared in the pub, with a warning not to use the code any longer and orders to handle Edmund discreetly and gently. What's so terrible if Major al-Masri uses it to them?

I suspect I am being thick, here. I appreciate Rat and Crow, but I think I'd be pretty awful at it.

Linnea