She's the one who breaks it up, soft words getting Wei Wuxian to step back and stop fighting, to give up his anger at Jin Zixuan and accept her quiet resignation, her insistence that it doesn't matter, this insult to her; she's the one who speaks up the second time, soft words of apology to Jin Zixun turning into firm and resolute questions, replacing Wei Wuxian's anger with her own, insisting that it does matter, this insult to him, because he matters to her.

And Lan Wangji stands by both times, his hands empty and his heart full. (He doesn't know yet about the third time, when her soft words will be gone, and his hand will hold everything that matters, for a while.)