“We don’t actually have to marry or do those…marital duties,” the witch added with a grimace, “but it’d just be easier for both of us if you stayed hidden as my ‘offscreen husband’ for now.”

Pietro thought, At least I can use that time to plot my escape, but said aloud, “You know it’s kinda pathetic that you can’t even get your hostage fake husband to fall in love with you.”

Agatha lobbed a huge purple fireball at him, which he dodged easily with his superspeed (though he gritted out all the Yiddish and Rromanes swears he knew while trying to bend away at just the right angle).