“Wait, when did we get together in the first place?” Hamlet says, looking like a kicked puppy after Osric finally gets the nerve to forge his own freedom. “If I’d known that, it would have been so much easier to tell you I like you.”

Which is sweet and all, but it’s too little too late, and if they’re this fundamentally bad at communicating they must be fundamentally incompatible, so for the sake of his own sanity he has to answer, “Goodbye, Hamlet.”