"Let's see - no injuries this month, the Prez finally approved that budget increase you've been angling for all year, and Heidegger split his pants this morning; face it, if things get any better around here, you'll be in serious danger of cracking a smile!"

"In that case, I'll simply hire someone to smile for me."

He'd meant it in jest, since Zack was clearly teasing him; but Zack's face fell and he muttered "Ifrit's balls, boss," and Sephiroth decided he'd be better off hiring someone to tell jokes for him because he was clearly terrible at it.