"It's got fencing, fighting, torture, poison, true love, hate, revenge, giants, hunters, bad men, good men, beautifulest ladies, snakes, spiders, beasts of all natures and descriptions, pain, death, brave men, coward men, strongest men, chases, escapes, lies, truths, passion, and miracles," the grandpa, who was once the boy, lists off to his granddaughter, who is about to listen to his favourite story ever.

"With smartest princesses on adventures and bravest ladies who use swords," his granddaughter demands, eying his book suspiciously, "because this better not be a kissing book."

"Of course not," the grandpa promises (and considering some well advised revisions), "this is Princess Buttercup we're talking about, going avenge her true love, Westley the farmboy, after he got kidnapped by the Dread Pirate Roberts..."