This is brilliant and hilarious, and it had me laughing out loud in several places. If I tried to quote my favorite lines, I’d have to copy the whole thing into the comment box, but Mr Roast tries to forge extensions of their current lease, Mr Napkins is the reason why they need so many napkins, and February of the Calendar Cafe drinking deconstructed coffee are all amazing. Everything I hoped for for the prompt and more, though I’m deeply curious about the serious deep lore version and I kind of want the Calendar Cafe version too.